You Don't Know Me, But...

You won't have heard of me, but...

You won't have heard of me before, I am confident of that. You will have heard of one of my relations I am sure, but I am much better at my job than she is.

Trick or Treat.

I suppose that sums me up. Trick or treat.

If you read on from here, then it is trick or treat. Am I treating you or tricking you? Do you want to take the risk? Will reading this story be a treat, or am I tricking you? Dare you read on?

Oh, by the way, if you are too young, then you should certainly not read on. My relation looks after the kiddies. I am only interested in the grown-ups. Go on kiddies, Go away now. Shoo. Scram. Go and watch television or something. There is nothing here for you.

...

Yes! You. Go away.

...

That's better. Without the little-one's prying eyes we can, what shall I say, relax a bit? Make sure that we are comfortable. Perhaps get a glass of something to sip. Well perhaps not if you are reading this at work, but you wouldn't be doing that, would you. No. Excuse me a moment while I top up my own glass.

...

That's good. I decided to treat myself to a tot of the good stuff. There's that word again, treat. It seems to be a bit of a theme, doesn't it. But there again, so is trick. One or the other. This or that. One or t'other.

Comfortable. Are you sure that you are comfortable. They look a bit constricting to me. Undo them. Slip them off. That's better.

What are you thinking? Have you got any little urges? It's OK. There's no-one else watching now. It's just the two of us. I would be more than happy if you were to take that off as well. Are you warm enough now? Would you be happier if you were to snuggle under the duvet. You could put another log on the fire perhaps -- but mind the sparks -- or turn up the thermostat, but it would be better for the environment, I think, if you were to use the duvet. Don't you agree?

Yes, go ahead, stroke, fondle, tickle, rub. Nice, eh?

Not too fast. You've plenty of time, haven't you?

Haven't you?

Yes, just relax. Fantasise. Whose hand would you like it to be. Whose? Oh really, They wouldn't do that to you, would they. Or would they? Of course, you would have to return the... return the ... complement. You would like that, wouldn't you.

Dream now. Dream of it. Just you, and them. Of course I am here as well, but you can choose, can't you. Do you want to be aware that I am watching you? Does being watched excite you more? Perhaps instead you could imagine that I am really that other, special person you dream of. Just dream if what you want, and then enjoy the result.

What could make it better. Do you have any little bottles or toys by your bedside? Do you want to reach for them? Any little potions that might enhance it? Make it smoother? Anything to give it that little extra buzz, so to speak? Do you like it to feel especially tight, or filled that little bit extra? Squeezed? Stretched? Anything, just anything to take the pleasure just that little bit higher, further, more intensity.

What a treat. What treatment. What beautiful treatment. What a treat you are having. You like it, don't you. Aren't you glad you took me up on my offer. You wouldn't want to be missing what I am giving you now, would you?

Are you are wondering who I am? Don't worry about it, just go with it. I'm giving you pleasure, aren't I. What does it matter who I am. Just accept that I am giving you these ideas, leading you to your wanton behaviour? But it is fun, isn't it. Ok, not fun, more than fun. Pleasure? More, more, more. More. More. Who am I that I have the power to give you this pleasure. So far, just pleasure. There's still no hurry. We will get there, there, there, there. Oh yes, there. There.

Oh yes, Oh yes. Is it ecstasy? Have I brought you to ecstasy, so soon? No, surely not, Just a little peak on the way. Where am I taking you? Questions? Where? Why? Who?

Who? You are asking who again? That question is getting in the way, isn't it. Shall I answer it? Shall I hint?

OK! I have told you that you have heard of my relation, my wife actually, although we have parted company now. What she does doesn't interest me, and what I do, well I just don't think that she would approve of what I do. Can you guess now? You know who I am yet? You will have heard about her in stories; in films even. Getting warmer? Oh, yes, you were getting warmer. Lets get back to that, shall we. Forget questions, just enjoy, just please yourself, just pleasure yourself. Ignore the questions.

Oh, you really can't, can you. Do I have to I tell you? Yes? No?

Think.

You want to know?

Oh well, so be it.

You know my wife. She is the Fairy Godmother. Which makes me...

Yes!

I am the Fairy Godfather.

That's right, Godfather, like in the mafia.

What? You have never heard of the Fairy Godfather?

You haven't, have you?

Actually, there is a good reason for that. Do you remember that I said that I do my job better than she does hers. Her secret has been discovered. Mine hasn't. You see, as soon as someone finds out about me, I have to do something about it.

I am sure that you have heard about cases of sudden unexpected, unexplained deaths.

So Goodbye.

You see, it was a trick.