Young Blood Ch. 05

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icehead
icehead
158 Followers

That was what my life was all about now, I realized. Death. Once again, I remembered the young lady with the dog, and the hooker on the street. Everything I'd said to Tanya about Michelle held true with them just as much, and yet I'd killed them both. And I'd enjoyed it. I'd taken away the lives they deserved to have, and I'd attempted to justify it by saying I needed to. It was true, I did need to. But I understood now that that was no justification. I was as much a killer as Tanya was. Humans were my enemies. All of them.

Because I'm not human anymore. I'm a monster. And monsters shouldn't be allowed to live.

I was finally coming to my ultimate decision when Elizabeth knocked on my door at around eleven-thirty on the third night—which as of right now as I write this was about four-and-a-half hours ago. I let her in; I really did want to talk to her.

"Hi, Elizabeth. What's up?"

"I just wanted to see if you were okay."

I paused a moment, moving around the room. "No," I said at last, "I'd say I'm pretty damn far from okay. And I thought you should know I've decided to do something about it."

Her head tilted and she looked at me curiously. "What's that?"

I looked at her gravely. "I'm going to climb up on the roof of this building... and I'm going to watch the sunrise."

Her eyes flew open. "No!" she gasped. "Vincent, don't be ridiculous!"

"I can't keep living like this, Elizabeth. I can't live forever as a predator, knowing that all the people out there, the people with lives, with loved ones, are my prey. I've tried to look around it, but there's no changing the fact that I'm a killer now."

"You don't have to be!" she protested. "We have plenty of blood that people have given up voluntarily—"

"It's not just the blood! It's the hunter's instinct! It's too strong!"

She sighed. "Look, we can work this out. I mean, if you're talking about the first night you changed, I know it's unfortunate, but it happens—"

"I'm also talking about last Friday, Elizabeth. I killed again on Friday night." She said nothing. She just stared at me in surprise. "I went out hunting that night, and I killed someone else. And it felt good when I did. And it was all so that I wouldn't do exactly the same thing to that girl I knew who we saved from Tanya the other night. It didn't matter who I did it to; my body wanted me to do it! And sooner or later, I'm going to do it again, unless I end it now."

"Vincent, no!" she protested again. "Vincent, please, it's okay, you're not a monster—"

"YES I AM!" I roared, wheeling around at her. "That's precisely what I am! That's what you turned me into!"

That's when I saw the little sparkle running down Elizabeth's cheek. I knew then that I'd hit the wrong nerve; I never knew I was capable of making Elizabeth cry. Without a word, she turned around and started heading back for the door. I decided not to watch her leave, and turned melancholy to the window.

"Vincent," I heard her say. I turned, and saw she had stopped halfway to the door, but still had her back to me. After a long pause she finished, "...I'm sorry." For a moment that was all. And then she went on, "I'm sorry I turned you without asking you first. That was very presumptuous of me, I know that now." After another brief pause she finally turned to face me. "But I'm not sorry I turned you."

I was beginning to feel a little softer now, and took a few steps towards her. She went on, "We both know I'm not the kind of girl who likes to commit. But of all the boys I've been with, I don't think any of them have meant as much to me as you do."

Feeling almost on the verge of tears myself, I took her into my arms, and felt her return my embrace. "You're the best friend I've ever had," I whispered. "But you know you're not going to change my mind about this."

I heard a sniffle, and she sobbed, "I know."

I released her, and she headed for the door as I sat at my desk to write out what remained of the story you've been reading, which I'd begun earlier that day. Just something to leave behind.

Before the door opened, I heard her ask, "What do you want me to tell Alicia?"

I turned around in my seat; she turned her head to look at me. After a moment's hesitation, I finally said five simple words.

"Tell her I love her."

She nodded, and walked out the door and closed it behind her. As I picked up my pen and began writing, I heard her slump against the outside of the door and begin crying intensely.

I think she's gone by now. She should be, anyway. And I'm just finishing, too; not long now until sunrise. Once I'm finished here, I'm going to leave it here for someone to find; I don't really care who. Then I'm going to climb up to the roof and wait to see the sun for the last time.

I bet it'll be beautiful.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well, it's now four in the afternoon on the next day, and I'm still here. Yes, something did ultimately change my mind, and since you've read this far already, I might as well explain what happened.

I was standing on the roof. Not much time left. I was thinking I'd picked a magnificent way to meet my end; there are worse ways to go than looking into a scene of eternal beauty.

She read my mind. "You're probably thinking it's going to be beautiful, aren't you?" I turned around, and saw Alicia standing there. She shrugged. "Elizabeth couldn't keep her mouth shut."

I chuckled mildly in spite of myself, shaking my head. "Then I suppose she told you my reasons."

"Yeah."

"Then you know you're not going to get me to come inside."

"Not why I'm here."

A bit surprised, I turned my head to look at her as she stepped up beside me. "I'm not here to give you the whole 'you've got plenty to live for' speech," she said. "And I'm not here to beg you to come inside." Her lovely sapphire eyes looked solemnly into mine as she said, "I'm here because I love you. And if you're going to stand out here and wait to burn, then I'm staying with you."

Now it was my turn to protest. "No! You can't!"

"And you can?" she snapped. I found any other words I might have had cut off in an instant. "Do you happen to remember Julie, my roommate? The one I killed? I'm just as much a killer as you are, Vincent! I'm a vampire too! I have every bit as much reason to be out here as you do."

I didn't know what to say. But she wasn't done yet. "I'll follow you, whatever you decide to do. If you still insist on staying out here, then we burn together." Then came the dramatic pause, before adding, "All three of us."

"What?" I began frantically looking around the roof. No one else was there. "What do you mean, all three of—"

My breath caught in my throat as I noticed the way her hands were resting on her belly. I pointed a finger at it, and gasped, "You mean—"

Her response was a smile and a nod. "So like I was saying, I'll stand by whatever you decide. But I am kind of hoping you'll change your mind here, so we can have this little vampire together."

I paused a moment; then in a flash, I grabbed her, pulled her to me, and kissed her. I needed no further incentive.

We found Elizabeth waiting for us in the doorway when we returned inside. She actually looked genuinely surprised. "Wow, I didn't think you'd actually do it!"

"I didn't," Alicia said, lightly patting her belly. "Our baby did."

Elizabeth's jaw dropped. "Your—you mean—" When Alicia smiled and nodded, Elizabeth's eyes flew open wide and she squealed, "OH MY GOD!" as she ran to us and threw an arm around each of our necks. "I love you guys!"

Alicia and I returned to my dorm room, closing the blinds as tightly as we possibly could, and fell asleep together on my bed; we were tired, and decided to let any sweaty stuff wait until after some rest. I woke up first a little while ago, and decided to finish writing out this part here. But it looks like she's awake and ready for me now. So if you'll excuse me, Alicia and I would really like to be alone for a while.

THE END

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I appreciate any feedback I can get; it's the only reward I get for my work.

Be sure to also check out: Blood Rose, a prequel story starring Elizabeth!

icehead
icehead
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AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
A most excellent vampire story.

One of the best written vampire stories I have read on this site orf any other site. An outstanding plot with exquisite character development. You needed to add some small details like what year of college(Fresh,Soph, Jr, Sr), maybe their majors, and why this college caters to vampires. I read "Blood Rose" and really enjoyed it also but the ending left a few unanswered questions like what happened to Elizabeth after "blood Rose", what happened to the female vampire hunter who had been turned into a vampire, and whatever happened to the sequel to "Blood Rose" that you mentioned at the ending. A sequel to "Blood Rose" was a must and you did not deliver it to your reader/fans as all the comments I have read are begging you to write more. A sequel to "Young Blood" is a must also from all the positive comments you have received on the story and many asking you to write more. Make them all seniors and throw in some majors and write about their last year at college and Alica's pregnancy and delivery of their little vampire. Write about their lives after college and how the 3 of them remain together as a threesome as Alica and Vincent ask Elizabeth to remain with them as part of their lives as they would not be whole without her. Elizabeth finally realizes that commitment is a good thing after all. +Maybe you should seriously consider writing that sequel to "Blood Rose" that you mentioned at the end of that story. And don't forget the sequel to "Young Blood" also as I know it will be as awsume as the 1st part . Retired ArmyNCO

wask_bennettwask_bennettalmost 8 years ago
On the "Young Blood" series

Let me first say that you are a superb writer, with beautifully crafted stories, characters with personality, depth and dimensionality that is on par with many published authors. For a forum such as this, your work stands out as the finest I've read. That said, you have some fairly common grammatical and syntax mistakes that could be easily corrected. While they distract somewhat from the story's readability, they are not major issues for a writer. This is what a good literary editor does for a living.

This story in particular, "Young Blood," has what I believe to be real potential for commercial appeal. Though most of the stories in this genre are written for a "YA" audience (ages 13-19), you would obviously have to choose from either removing/rewriting all but the mildest sexuality (think: what would keep my book "PG-13" if it were a screenplay) or else try to publish in the Adult Romance arena. And yes, I said "book." You have 5 excellent sections fleshed out already; they just need fleshing out (no pun intended), with some transitions, a few more plot points, more development of both the main and supporting characters, and (in my opinion) greater complexity in the antagonist (as well as a supporting cast for her as well).

Okay, the "bread & butter" of this communication- who the heck am I to write to you as if I have something to say? Fair question. As a fiction writer, nothing except for the great love I have for fiction, especially, the supernatural and dystopian genres. However, I am a published author of numerous academic journal articles, mostly in peer-reviewed (professional) journals. I am also a university professor, and I read, edit and grade hundreds of papers - essays and research papers, which means I'm a stickler for the use of proper syntax and grammar. So, the next question: why am I writing this to am unknown (to me) person on an erotic fan fiction website? Well, again, it begins with my enjoyment of GOOD erotica (which is, as you know, extremely rare). I really believe that you are an uncut diamond amongst the sooty coal of these boards. I promised myself many years ago that I would give encouragement to those in whom I saw potential. Of course, I was mostly thinking of my students at the time, but if one looks hard enough, diamonds are all around us, and are sometimes in the most peculiar places (like literotica.com, for instance).

So here's my advice- take a chance. Actually go out, hire an agent (or learn how to be your own), pour yourself into the basic story you have written, labor, sweat, cry, scream and, above all, fall in love with your characters and the stories they were born to tell and let them tell it. Finally, don't ever quit on them until you've found someone to help you share their story with the world, because you know they deserve to tell their story to the world, and that you really are good enough to make it happen. I will eagerly await the book (series?). In the the meantime, if you want some moral support, feel free to contact me on this forum. Good luck, and thanks for the stories!

ladywildheartladywildheartalmost 9 years ago
wow

I absolutely loved it and blood rose good job

AnonymousAnonymousabout 9 years ago
A real story

I normally come to Literotica for porn, and to beat off. However, Once I started to read this series, that all changed. This is just a great story as a story! I have read it more than once, and gained more understanding each time. My hat's off to you.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 9 years ago
great

One of the best stories I have read.

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