Your Love Is My Drug Ch. 01byalissaafonina©
"Why won't you let me see them?" Maybe it was the fact that he was lying on top me, looking down with moist blue puppy dog eyes, or the way his voice was calm and hushed against my ear, but somehow that boy still managed to be sexy even when he whined.
The sun was nearly down. My mother went away to another state to visit a "friend", as she explained through an embarrassing school girl blush, and wouldn't be back until tomorrow night. I wish she didn't bother with her unnecessary lies, it wasn't like I cared very much what reason she had for leaving, as long as it actually happened. In fact, I enjoyed the house being this still and quiet with nearly every appliance turned off. The only light in my room was the tiny green desk lamp with a translucent glass shader. It reflected off my generic white walls giving everything a glowing jade undertone, perfectly setting the mood.
That didn't matter. If my shirt made those last few inches there would be no going back, and I couldn't let that happen. My hands were warm and firm on top of his, gently but steadily pushing them back down to my stomach, a much safer area. His full lips contorted into an innocent disappointed frown, and his eyes dropped for just a moment as though saddened by my refusal. If this were anybody else, it would have looked cute. But there was far too much intrigue in every inch of him to be anything but heart stopping. It only made this that much harder.
His hands stroked my right thigh making my legs, and other parts, shiver in spite of the increasing temperature in the room, which seemed to have skyrocketed in the last half hour. My room's open window next to us was the only thing stopping it from truly feeling like the hottest July we've ever had. That innocent smile quickly turned into a sly grin, promising that we'd come back to this later. I would be a liar if I said I didn't want him to change my mind. He laughed gently in that charming way of his. I didn't buy the cute boy routine for a minute, this one was all about action, which he's certainly had his fair share of before. It was a nice try though. "I'm sure I'll like them", he murmured as he positioned himself slightly lower on top of me. I hate when people say that. False promises.
"How can you actually be sure?"
Even though his face was now buried in the nape of my neck, I could feel him smile. "I don't know, I just am."
Using logic in even the most intimate of moments was my specialty, and I was glad it amused him instead of making him annoyed. He began kissing my neck gently, traveling in the downward direction. My back arched a little. He lifted me up slightly and slid his hands around my upper back, which consequently made the rest of his body press that much harder against mine. My legs instinctively curled around him as though they had a mind of their own, pressing my pelvic bone up against his very obvious bulge. It felt right having him there, he filled the space between my legs so perfectly that I couldn't understand how I ever lived without it.
Then, without a warning our mouths met, barely giving me the chance to breathe. I loved it when he took charge and acted in ways I didn't anticipate, because that was when I forgot to think. His tongue was doing some interesting things too, traveling further down my mouth than usual. I didn't expect to like it, not at all. I had always kept my tongue mostly to myself and concentrated on the lips, like biting or teasing. But this was different. I sucked and allowed him to explore as much as he wanted, shocked at the new sensation and what it was doing to me. My breath caught. How had I not noticed before that he tasted this good? I wrapped my lips around his tongue and sucked harder, savouring every moment.
Soon I caught on to what he was really doing. This was supposed to distract me from the way those hands were moving higher and higher one millimeter at a time, with my shirt tangled between his fingers. I contemplated just letting him do it. There was really no reason to stop him other than my own insecurity over the size of my breasts. I've been with other boys before, sure, (in fact I lost my virginity when I was fifteen, three years ago), but I had never let a single one see me completely naked. I liked every other part of my body and felt quite confident, but this was a hurdle I had never conquered before. I always wished I could be one of those girls who laid naked in front of their lover, and felt completely hot and at ease. But I wasn't. Not yet.
I bent my arms to try and stop him again. At first I went for his biceps and pushed, but that didn't move his six foot self at all. Then, I clasped my own chest, gripping the fabric of my shirt to keep it in place. He rose up and looked at me with a brilliant smile that made his cheekbones stand out even more than usual. The contours of his lips were naturally so sharp and serious, giving him a certain tortured quality that I simply went crazy over. That smile was dangerous. With one look that boy could send shivers down my spine and make me forget rationality. I wasn't used to losing control like that. I didn't like the fact that I wanted to keep losing it.
"You are so frustrating." He laughed, muffling half the sentence as he buried his face in my stomach. The words vibrated against my skin like a hot wave, making me wet.
God how I wished this one thing wasn't stopping me from doing what I wanted. The fact that insecurity could overpower even my horniness was impressive. But I wanted him to want me, and the slight chance that he wouldn't like something about my appearance was more risk than I was willing to take. How could some girls just not care and be completely naked in front of a boy? How could I be completely naked in front of a boy this hot and not feel at least a little self conscious? He settled for kissing my stomach, sucking harder and licking as he traveled higher.
I was always told I was pretty, and for the most part I believed it. In fact that was one of the first things I heard when meeting any boy around my age. The older ones spoke mostly with their eyes, but I could tell what they were thinking. My looks always came up in conversation as though I should be thankful to them for informing me. Some of the time I was flattered, and it kept me confident. Mostly though, I didn't even care, unless it was somebody like James.
He was tall, pale, sought after, and to top it all off, a musician. The fact that he was lusting after me was a bigger thrill than anyone else could give me. One of his approving glances was more validation than being hit on by a dozen men. Someone like him was hard to find, not because he was the only cute boy in the universe that has ever liked me, but because I never found myself liking anyone back. Wanting someone was almost better than being wanted. Almost.
He grabbed my hands and pinned them down by my sides in one smooth confident motion. This cleared my head entirely of thought, and all I could see was him. His body was hovering on top of mine, our noses nearly touching. I could smell his breath, sweet and tangy, mixed in with the faint smell of his deodorant. I could almost taste him. I was glad he didn't wear cologne, his body smelled far better than any scent they could come up with. He grabbed me by the wrists and raised my hands over the top of me, pinning them down with one massive hand. God he was strong. Smiling through closed lips, the other hand softly traced the outline of my stomach. It took me a moment to catch on, and by the time I did, my shirt was no longer covering the parts I was so afraid to show.
He looked at them and smiled. I was terrified of what he'd think, which was a feeling I wasn't used to. No one ever made me question myself this much. I was used to being considered the pretty one out of all my friends, and generally uninterested in most boys that wanted me. That was how I liked it to be. With James, it was a different story. I wanted him so badly it scared me to admit it.
"What were you so afraid of?" He half whispered nearly into my lips.
My eyes must have been as wide as an owl's.
"Yes?" He seemed amused by my hesitation. I liked it when he looked at me like that. My hands were completely pinned by just one of his palms and strange, daring energy ran between us. I felt completely helpless and at his mercy, but safe and aroused at the same time. The fact that he took total charge of me was exactly what I wanted, I just didn't know it until it actually happened.
"I was afraid you'd think I have the body of a boy", I heard myself say with unexpected ease.
He didn't respond. Instead, his fingers started tracing the tiny outline of my nipple, softly and gently, before taking it between two fingers for a gentle squeeze. Electricity pierced through me like a flare gun shot. My mouth opened at the unexpected pleasure, mixed with a small amount of pain that made it even better. I had never even imagined my chest had so many nerve endings. God, was this what I was missing out on the whole time?
He kept circling and squeezing, faster and faster, which made my hands struggle against his grip. But he didn't let go and I truly couldn't get away. For just one moment I lost total control, and that was all it took for me to melt into the sensation. My head tilted back, eyes closed, heart racing with compelling adrenaline. He finally lowered himself between my legs again, and my cunt shot up like a bullet to press up against him. I didn't think it could get any better, until I felt something soft and wet on my left breast. He began sucking teasingly at the tip, not quite biting but gently grazing at my nipple.
Oh James, I sighed half wittingly, don't stop. His tongue moved feverishly like he wanted it as much as I did, and my cunt ached imagining what it would feel like if he did the same things down there. I wrapped my legs around him tighter, pressing myself harder. I wanted, needed, something more than what I could feel through his boxers, but even the sensation of his bulge excited me. He moved onto the next hard and ready nipple, letting my hands go this time. I wrapped my free fingers in his dark hair, my shoulders nearly shaking, and gently pulled.
A cool summer breeze blew through the window against my forehead making me aware of just how much my cheeks were burning. I opened my mouth and gasped, trying to catch some fresh air. It burned the back of my throat like lava. His hand was suddenly inside my panties, fingers searching eagerly between my wet folds. My legs were completely spread by his thighs, giving him full access to my burning clit, which added to his control. He pressed down, and my knees lost whatever was keeping them steady. I wasn't exactly planning on going this far with him yet, but at that point my mind was eagerly screaming yes, do whatever you want, just please do not stop! Rationality, gone, and it wasn't missed.
My nipples and chest felt raw and exposed, hardening as the saliva wet skin met cool air. He was done with them, and they couldn't take anymore either. Small breasts had one perk, extreme sensitivity to the touch, which also meant soreness came a lot sooner.
Two long fingers slid in me sudden and sharp making me raise my cunt and clench as it spasmed. A half breath half moan escaped me. He went in farther and harder the second time, increasing the speed in perfect rhythm with my heart beat.
Panting, I began to thrust upward as though my cunt wanted to swallow his fingers. They went in as far as they could go at the perfect angle, and his palm rubbed against my tender clit gently. The spasms were already forming into a mind numbing crescendo, it barely took any work at all. There was no reason to hold back the needy high pitched moan escaping my lips, and the back of my mind thanked fates that we were alone tonight.
I couldn't hold back even if I wanted to. My body was not my own as it descended into the electric lulling of the orgasm, tensing and releasing into sweet satisfying exhaustion. He slipped his fingers out, gathering up wetness and circling my clit a few gentle times, before leaving my panties to rest. I sighed, allowing cold air to penetrate my lungs.
Faintly, I heard a couple of drive-by cars in the background, reminding me that there was an outside world going on around us.
My eyes shot open like a deer sensing danger. I couldn't tell if the flush on my cheeks was from embarrassment or something else, but they burned hotter than an overworked light bulb.
His blue eyes were calmly transfixed on me, those lips stunningly amused, as though he was holding back a laugh. He looked proud and satisfied, even though technically, he wasn't. It calmed me to see that.
My chest felt a safe warmth of silliness, and for some reason I wanted to laugh as well. The sweat on my forehead matched the wetness in my underwear, but that didn't seem to matter.
"Now what were you saying?", he growled through a crooked smile.
My mind went blank momentarily, words stuck in translation. This seemed to amuse him even further. I couldn't help but laugh even though I could have sworn my cheeks were growing redder, if that were even humanly possible.
Had we really only met a week and a half ago? It felt like we've known each other forever, and now he had changed me in a way that I knew would make me a different Avery. No, scratch that, it wasn't changed, it was released.
When I washed the sweat off my skin that night, what went down the drain was not only salt and water, but the last missing piece of the puzzle that was me. I was no longer jealous of the heroines in the books and stories I've read late at night, who proudly stripped nude in front of a man and allowed him to ravish her without fear and insecurity. I didn't have to be jealous, because as of tonight that was who I became.
I thought I was confident before this, I thought I felt desirable -- but that was only because I had no idea what it truly meant. I couldn't believe all the time I had wasted keeping myself locked up from a whole different world, when all the time I could have spent feeling this hot.
I lathered every curve of my body, the stomach, the supple behind that in the past I jokingly called my silver prize for the lack of a great rack, and my matching proportionate hips. Being the owner of all those parts felt different. They had now carried an entirely new meaning, one I was never aware of.
"What was I so afraid of?" I said to myself, as I wiped the steam off the bathroom mirror, looking into my no-longer frightened dark hazel eyes. My head shook in response, because I really didn't know.