tagHumor & SatireYour Momma Betty

Your Momma Betty


"Mitchel! ... Mitchel! ... Ah can't find the TV thing!

Excuse me for a minute.

Man, you'd think that damn remote woulda grown to her hand by now.

Welll, I guess I can't say too much, we're all getting old. But man, she was a pistol in her day. Sherry was always a sweet woman, friendly with everyone; I don't think she has an enemy in three counties. And Fuck? Christ all mighty, she could fuck with the best of them.

Your momma was like that too. Everyone loved her. If yer talkin' about little kids or old folk, she saw only the best in all of 'em. But she kept up with Sherry when it came to fuckin'.

I met 'em in High School, Sherry was a junior, me; I was a senior. She and Betty were best friends back then, and you almost always saw one when you saw the other. It was damn hard to date Sherry and have some time alone with her. But she had her own boyfriend; that'd be your dad. Bob and me got to be good friends. You might say we were fuck buddies, in a way. That's a joke son; we didn't fuck each other - we fucked our girlfriends together. Actually we fucked each other's girls too. Hey, we were real fuck buddies.

After we left high school, we all went our separate ways; your dad went to college and your mom went to work at the Chevy plant. I went in the Navy for a few years, and Sherry, well, she got a job tending bar. Hell we all fucked around. Nobody was expected to wait. Christ we were all young and horny. I fucked my way all over the Med (I'll tell you, them Italian girls fuck like mad!); Sherry told me she musta had a hundred guys while I was gone. Your momma was known all over the plant as a gal to keep the men relaxed. Some of the women too. And your pop? Damn! I heard there were three sororities that damn near broke up when he graduated.

When I got out, I came home and the first place I went was the bar Sherry worked at. Right there I asked her to marry me; and damned if she didn't say yes. Bob had popped the question to Betty a couple months before, so everybody agreed a double wedding was the way to go. And when your poppa suggested a double honeymoon - well hell - we all knew he meant we were going to fuck our brains out, and it didn't matter which man the women were with, fuckin' is fuckin'.

Father Malley married us, and the families threw a big party. I bet your mama kept that scrap book out, right up to when she passed. We went up to Red Tree Resort for our honeymoon. All three days of it. Hell, that's all we could afford.

We hadn't even unpacked and we were testin' the beds. Wooeee! Your mama was sure singin'! We finally got dressed and went to dinner; I needed the food and the rest, I'll tell you. At the next table was this black couple, and they kept lookin' over at us with a odd look. Now, he was a big guy; not fat, just big. She was a cute thing, just five foot tall and built like a brick shit house. That was Jacob and his new wife Charis. You know them. The Morgans. Well anyway, we struck up a conversation with them. Turns out they had the room next to us. In fact the beds backed up to the same wall. They'd been hearing us all afternoon. 'Course they were fucking too, but he was goin' nuts 'cause he thought there were just two of us on that bed, and he was tryin' to keep up!

Well shit. They proved to be such nice folk we invited them to sit with us, and we had a great dinner together. Later we went dancin' and I danced a lot with Claris. Man! That woman plastered up against me ... I'll tell you, she'd get a saint hard. I looked around at one point, and Betty was grindin' against Jacob. I could tell from half across the room he was hung, and she made sure he was hard. I even saw her drop a hand down and stroke him. Bob and me took turns dancing with Claris, and Sherry and Betty kept Jacob busy too. 'Course we weren't missing time with our women either, It got to the point that we three men were walkin' around with stiff legs. So much that some of the other women in there made a big point of gettin' in a dance with us. And I pity any other man that danced with Betty, or Sherry, and Charis, damn; she had any man within twenty feet of her hard as a box a rocks. Damn we had a good night!

We all went upstairs finally, and they just naturally came into our room. That door was hardly shut and them women were naked and fallen on the bed together. They went into a daisy chain (You do know what a daisy chain is don't you?) and the sound of them women cummin' mustta woke up the whole floor.

Well, it didn't take us men long to find a pussy to plow into, and no, it didn't matter which one, 'cause we were gonna be in all of them that night. I can tell you; that Charis gave fuckin' a whole new meanin'. Shit, she still does!

But Sherry and Betty gave her a good run, I'll tell you. At one point I was fuckin' your mama's mouth, Jacob was plowin' her pussy, and your dad was workin' her ass as hard as he could. She musta just laid there quiverin' a good ten minutes when we finished, but them other women didn't give her a break; they were busy diggin' out all that cream pie that was oozin' out. Damn that was a sight!

Charis gave me her ass that night, and I'll tell you, I've been back to that honey hole a lot over the years. Jacob tried gettin' Betty's ass, but she just couldn't take him; he was just too big around. But man, she wanted to, I'll tell ya. She did try. Now Sherry, she just dropped on her back, lifted her legs and he slid right in. Fucked the hell out of her, he did. She screamed like a banshee when she came. And purred like a big cat when Charis cleaned her out.

Damn that was a fine night.

I need a beer, you want one?

Well, we ended up best o'friends, even bought houses kinda close together.

We kept on trading wives, 'cept when one wanted to get pregnant. Then she was off limits. But it wasn't like anybody was missin' out on any fuckin'; we'd added two more couples to our group; you remember the Rocksons don't you? Yeah, too bad they moved; she gave the best head. Loved cock. She wouldn't just suck yer knob, she made love to it. She'd smell it, lick it, and when she went down? Man she got to yer root, and then her tongue would go all over yer balls. Damn! Good times!

Well, you were born. My daughter Shelly came along a year later, (I always figured you two would get together, too bad you didn't; she's just like her mother.) and the Morgans had the twins after that. Yer momma broke Jacob Jr's cherry when he turned eighteen, well, he said it was a cherry, but she said he had a lotta moves you wouldn't find on a virgin. Didn't matter, he kept fuckin' her 'til he went to college. And every time he came home too.

I helped his sister, Kali; yeah, she knew a whole lot too, but when I showed her butt fuckin' ... oh man that was one sweet ass. Haven't seen her since she went in the Air Force.

Now, yer probably wonderin' why I'm tellin' you all this. You need to know 'cause I hear yer goin' to Dorset, and I gotta tell you we were really busy over there. There can't be too many men that Sherry and Betty didn't fuck over there. And I know yer poppa and me fucked anything with two legs and a slit. And a couple of 'em didn't have two legs. That's a joke.

Anyway, you might run into people that knew yer mom and pop, so don't let the strange looks throw you off. You go over there and run that parish the best you know how. I got faith in you Father Mike.

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