Your Promises

He couldn't feel Blake's breathing.

Adam froze. Heart throbbing too painfully, and eyes swelling with tears "Blake.." his voice was shaky, too faint. Blake didn't answer. "Blake, this is not funny." He knew it wasn't a joke. Blake had never been cold; he was the warmest person alive, even during the coldest nights.

"Blake, wake up." He closed his eyes, letting his tears fall.

...

When he'd opened his eyes, he was once again, alone in the room, curled up in bed, Blake's clothes all around him and his picture on his chest and between his arms. He was staring at their wedding photo, tears falling off his eyes like it's the most natural thing.

His eyes were in pain from how much he'd cried, and his heart was filled with too much sorrow that it was about to explode. He was wearing the last thing Blake had on before he was... gone, and his smell wasn't doing Adam any favor.

He felt so close, yet, was impossibly far.

Adam felt like there were knives running their sharp edges on his skin, leaving scars and pain. In times like this, Blake was the one comforted him, the one told him it was going to be okay. He needed him so bad that he was ready to kill for him.

Adam prayed to the god Blake believed in, and promised to dedicate his life for him if he brought Blake back. Deep down, he knew it couldn't happen, and it wouldn't, still prayed with every fiber in his body.

It was late in the afternoon, one day. Adam was in bed with Blake's favorite towel in his arms and his face buried in it. He was still praying for Blake's return, when we he heard the door open. For a moment, his heart flattered with hope, even when he knew best that it was impossible.

A woman came in and immediately, his head fell back onto the pillow. It was Blake's mother. She crossed the room and sat right next to him.

"Adam," she caressed his hair, gently, and it felt too much like Blake's fingers to not hurt. "Son, it's been a month now."

Adam didn't respond, only chocked, shedding tears again.

"I know it's hard, Adam. But, I'm sure he wants you to be strong." She comforted with shaky voice. "you haven't even touched your food." he looked at the tray on the nightstand, still didn't talk.

She sighed, patting on his shoulder. "We're all in pain, Adam. I'm his mother, baby, it's harder for me."

Adam shook his head, refusing to believe that there was someone who was in more pain.

"It is, Adam." She insisted, "Baby, he's a part of me, my flesh and blood." She said, trying so hard to steady her voice, "Maybe you think you saw a part of him I didn't see, but that doesn't mean it's not as hard for me."

Adam didn't respond. She patted his shoulder one more time before leaving.

Hours passed, and the light of the sun passed through the curtains lighting the room up dimly. Adam was staring at Blake's face in their wedding photo, missing touching him, feeling him close.

Adam could still hear Blake's voice: in the kitchen trying one of his weird recipes and complaining that he can't find the ingredients, in the bedroom dressing up for work at the school, in the shower humming, in the living-room watching a game, on the bed cuddling with Adam. He was still everywhere, and it fucking hurt.

Adam swallowed.

"You know," he started talking to Blake in the picture. "I changed my last name." he smiled, "I'm now, Adam Shelton. I know, I should have done this a long time ago, but, I was stupid and thought it didn't fit."

"I wanted to surprise you when you get better. I was going to tell you after a good sex, maybe dinner, I don't know."

A long silent minutes passed.

"I wanted to have a baby girl with you. I... was actually quite excited about it." Adam confessed, feeling that he was going out of breath already, "I was going to argue with you, whether to give her a Christian name or a Jewish one... then I was going to let you name her whatever you want. You know me... I love teasing you."

"I was going to raise her to be like you... Blake. Because... Because you're such an amazing person, the most wonderful man I've ever met."

"You were the highlight of my entire life." Adam buried his face into the pillow and sobbed out his pain, "You were my life, baby."

Long moments were passed in crying before Adam looked at his hand; there were two rings, one of them was too big around his middle finger. It was Blake's.

"I was going to tell her about our first date, when you were attacked by that little monkey and then fell into the lake." Adam chuckled. "Then I was going to tell her how you propose to me. You crazy, jumped on the stage with Jonny cash, the security thought you were an attacker and chased us." He huffed another chuckle.

"We had to hide in a storage room. That was a horrible place to propose, by the way. But, I really didn't mind it, because I was too happy to care."

"You always... made me feel perfect, Blake, doing just little things, like... like smiling at me from across a room filled with so much better looking people."

"Why did you waste your life with someone like me, Blake? I still don't know what you saw in me. I'm a fucked up person who screws things up."

It hurt so much that it was cruel. Adam bit his lower lip until it was bleeding, body never felt so weak nor in pain. His whines sounded like a wounded puppy, bleeding in a corner. It was too much.

"I'm in pain, Blake." he whimpered, voice was hoarse, "Why aren't you here to comfort me... you said it was your job to comfort me."

"You said... everything was going to be okay, Blake." He frowned at Blake in the picture, "You never lied to me before," he admonished, "Why did you lie about this?"

Adam closed his eyes. Tears was raining down, and pain was rippling through his cells. He couldn't remember the last time he was in so much pain, because he'd never been in worse pain, not even when his family kicked him out of the house, when he admitted he was gay.Blake was his everything he needed.

Now, he had nothing.

He woke up to people, calling out for his name, shaking him. He was awake; however, no matter how many times he tried to tell them that, they didn't hear. He watched his best friend, Christina, fall down to the floor, crying, and Usher on the bed tears glittering in his eyes.

He got up, to comfort them and ask them about the reason why they were crying, but was shocked when he'd seen his own body on the bed, laying lifeless.

He died.

Though the urge to comfort his best friends was too strong, he had to go and find Blake. He belonged to his side. He closed his eyes, and let his mind take him to where he belonged. To where he could feel Blake.

He finally could hear his voice. His deep, soothing voice.

When he'd opened his eyes again, he was in their bed. Blake's arm around his waist and his other arm under his head.

"Adam, honey," He heard Blake's voice, through the blur. He flattered his eyes shut and few drops of burning tears were squeezed out. "You're okay?"

Adam opened his eyes. Blake was right there by his side, eyeing him with concern, "Blake," Adam lip-synced in disbelief.

"You're okay?"

"Blake," Adam started weeping again, sobbing out loud. Gush, he was such a baby, he thought. But he was too happy to care.

"Honey, what's wrong, c'mon, get up." Blake removed his numb arm from under Adam and helped him sit down. "hush, what's wrong, hush." Blake tried to calm his husband down, holdinghim in his arms, and petting his back.

"I missed you so much," Adam whined into Blake's chest, arms all around him, "Blake, don't leave again, please."

"I'm right here, honey.. hush, I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere."

"You left me and died... for a whole month," Adam groaned, "You lied to me and just went away."

"Died?" Blake's eyes widened in surprise,"What are you talking about? Adam, are you still worried about my surgery?"

"What?"

"Honey, I told you, everything is going to be okay," Blake said, "C'mon, you lil' sexy thing, look at me."

Adam tipped his head enough to look at Blake.

"I'm fine, I thought I promised you that."

"But you were dead,"

Blake chuckled, "That was a dream, love. Gush, you were crying real hard in your sleep."

Adam looked confused, "But, I'm dead too."

Blake sighed, "You don't look dead to me," Blake smiled, "You look more like a sexy heart breaker." he hoped this will soothe his husband a little.

Adam buried his head into Blake's chest again and started sobbing, "I'm so happy you're here.."

Blake rolled his eyes, "Of course I'm here." he said, fingers trailing through Adam's hair, "And I'll always be,"

"Now calm down," Blake added.

Adam nodded, letting a huge shuddering sigh out, "I love you, Blake."

"I know you do," Blake smiled, pressing a kiss on his temple, "I love you too, sweetie."

Adam pressed a kiss onto Blake's chest, nuzzling with the hair. "I love you so much,"

"I love you so much too, now, can we go back to sleep? It's three in the morning!"

"What?"Adam looked around him, it was still dark outside.

He looked at Blake again, "Yeah... yeah, okay."

Blake smiled at his beautiful husband and planted a kiss on his lips, "We should examine you tomorrow,"

Adam hummed, lying back into the mattress, "Yes, doctor." He watched Blake lean for another kiss, so he closed his eyes.

This time, he felt Blake's warm lips on his, and when he'd opened his eyes, Blake was still there.

After settling comfortably in each other's arms, Adam decided to make a confession.

"I changed my name."

Blake hummed, sleepily, "What?"

"My name, I'm Adam Shelton now."

Blake's eyes flattered open, "What? When?"

"When you were in the hospital," Adam confessed, biting his lips.

"I thought you didn't like how it fit,"

"I want to be completely yours," Adam admitted, looking like a bride in her wedding night. "From my name to my body, and I want you to be all mine."

Blake's expression softened, "I am already yours, honey."

They shared another kiss, so sweet and so passionate. Adam had never felt more alive. It was like he was given another chance in life. A chance to make it all better, to make it worth it.

He no longer wanted to keep his thoughts from Blake, to think it was too early for everything. He wanted to start a family with him, be happy next to him. This dream showed him how much of a righteous person Blake was, and no matter how many time Adam searched, he would never find a person that was as gentle and as loving.

He loved Blake, and was sure Blake loved him as much. That's all he needed in life.

Blake's head sunk back into the pillow, "Goodnight, Mr. Shelton." Blake said, lips pressed on Adam's forehead.

"Night," Adam mumbled, giggling a little.

"Oh, by the way." Adam's eyes opened again.

"Yeah?"

"I want to adopt a baby girl."

"Okay, easy there, buddy." Blake smiled, "Not all at once, want to kill me?"

Adam shook his head, "of course not, Blake."

"We'll talk it in the morning, 'kay?" Blake hugged Adam closer, lips on his temple.

"You promise?"

"Promise."