Yours Ch. 01

I couldn't understand it. The emotions I felt, such strong, deep seated hatred, and the new, bright joy and admiration, all mixed up with the lust I felt for her. Such completely opposed, conflicting feelings, but I felt them all for the same person, at the same time.

Without saying anything, I slowly pushed her off me. I got off the bed, and she curled up under the covers. I noticed that my cock was still wet with our combined juices, and her blood.

I picked her panties up from the floor and used them to clean my cock. When I was finished I tossed them carelessly towards her. They landed on her thigh, but she didn't seem to notice. I got dressed and left without either of us saying another word.

==

I didn't see her for a while, after that. She took the next day off from school, and didn't come to stay over. When I asked Rose about it, she said that Jessica had been sick after all, and she couldn't get out of bed. I thought that part might actually be true, she could have been in so much pain that she couldn't walk. I smiled at that image.

She didn't come over on Saturday, either. Instead Rose visited her, hoping to cheer her up, or make her feel better. She suggested I join her, since Jessica and I were becoming closer recently, but I declined.

As the week went on, I didn't see her again, even at school. I didn't look for her, exactly, but it felt so rare not to see her at all these days. I didn't ask Rose any more about her, either. I almost did a few times, but something in me hesitated. I was still conflicted about my feelings for her.

I thought about her constantly, remembering both why I hated her, and why I was starting to like her, all while trying not to picture her when I felt like jacking off. It was the strangest sensation. I'd had crushes before, what I thought was love at the time. Girls I watched from afar but never had he courage to approach, like many guys. I felt those same stupid feelings again, for Jessica. I thought about her smirk, her eyes, her wit. I also thought about how good it felt to hurt her, to watch her squirm in pain.

I became lost in my thoughts, ignoring my friends and school work. I tried to distract myself by staying online all the time, reading, or watching movies. But my thoughts always drifted back to her.

I stayed up for hours passed midnight almost every night, trying to think through my emotions half the time, and trying to forget them the rest. This is something I was usually good at, ignoring thoughts that made me uncomfortable, like homework I still had to finish, or if I thought that something was going to go badly, I could just make myself not think about. But this was too big, it was too much. I started falling a sleep in class, and I was tired all the time, just trying to understand what I was feeling, or to ignore it.

The next Friday I went to bed as soon as I got home from school. I was vaguely aware that there was something that I should be waiting for, but I'd pushed any thoughts of Jessica away. I was too sleep deprived and emotionally drained to care about what I'd forgotten.

That night, I jerked awake. I looked at my alarm clock to see that it was an hour after midnight, the bright, red 1:08 hurting my eyes. I sat up and held my head, trying to remember what had woken me.

There was a soft knock at the door.