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Arren and Tendaran wrapped their fallen countryman in silk and carried him between them, and Zar followed wearily after.
"Will you come with us?" Tendaran asked as they reached the wagon.
"Only to the mountains," she said. "To Lliria, I go, and from there I do not know."
She felt broken inside, and not by the divine magic of the Queen's silver cock, but by the Queen herself. Zar had been beaten in single combat, and then claimed in the most profound and intimate way while a dozen men watched. She hadn't even fought it. She had embraced it. Wanted it.
She still wanted it. Zar wanted to feel the Queen's silver cock inside her again. And not because of magic, but because she had enjoyed feeling like a whore.
Because she was a whore - and had the branding to prove it.
- COMMENTS
AlinaXabout 3 years agoAuthorNot sure what to do about Zar. It could be interesting to do a Hanwe tale, her rise to power and her wanderings later
AlinaXalmost 4 years agoAuthorI think the chastity belt got in the way - of the story, not just Zar. Also, this kind of fantasy world building is hard to get right. If I did this as a novel, I would spend a few months at least getting a sense of the world, its people and its rules, before daring to publish anything. Even with this, I got stuck for weeks after writing the de'els in Ch. 04. Took me a while to figure out a sensible ending. I'm also, truth be told, a lot more comfortable in first person.
Anonymousalmost 4 years agoI've loved nearly everything you've written previously, but there was something about this series that just didn't work for me and it's hard to put a finger on it. While technically really good, I just didn't feel able to give more than *4 for any of the chapters. I'm going to give this a break and come re-read it in a month to see if it's grown on me. please keep up the flow of new stories, it's a great way to pass the time during covid. If anyone else has an idea why this is different to your previous stories I'd love to know, please comment here and I'll check before I start the re-read :)
AlinaXalmost 4 years agoAuthorHanwe escapes but her bow is broken and the power of her cock neutralised. Thus is the Black Queen's reign ended, and in this Zar's quest was fulfilled. But there's plenty of scope for further adventures for both Zar and Hanwe...
