Zoe, Again

Please enjoy.

+

"How's your cappuccino?" Claire asked.

I'd been miles away. Startled, I raised my head, tried to smile.

"Um, good. Good, thanks."

I found Claire somewhat intimidating at the best of times.

"Gideon said you would have the photos for us," she said.

"Us?" I was a little shocked at the implications.

Back up...

After years of contemplating my exhibitionist tendencies, I'd only recently dared to dip my toe into the water, so to speak.

Gathering all my courage, I'd tied myself into a shibari harness, leaving my arms and legs free. Over it I wore a casual but dressy skirt and blouse.

And under it a vibrator.

The idea had been for me to take a tram well away from my flat, get off and walk back - without having an orgasm in public.

I still think I might have made it.

I'd also resolved to stop for a coffee on Collins Street, just to prolong things. Sitting there, squirming slightly as the vibrator spun up and down within me, I'd been noticed by Claire and Gideon. She had noticed that I was wearing something unusual under my blouse, but it had been Gideon who had recognized me for what I was.

Dismissing her politely, Gideon had taken me to his nearby flat. While remaining fully dressed himself, he'd guided and directed me through my first real sexual experience - undressing in front of him to expose the rope harness and then slowly masturbating myself until, after much delay, he'd given his permission for my orgasm. All the while, he'd taken endless photos and videos of me on my own phone.

Throughout the experience, he had directed me, controlled me, encouraged me. He'd been exactly what I'd dreamed of all my adult life - a strong, commanding and yet compassionate man to instruct and compel and use me.

It had been the best day of my life.

He'd also let me know that the only way for us to go any further was for me to trust him with the photos and videos now on my phone.

Yesterday, I'd texted him to say Yes.

But instead of Gideon waiting for me at the coffee shop as I had expected, it had been Claire.

She was sitting at the same table where I had first met them, wearing a long, sleeveless white lace dress with a plunging neckline. On her feet, were a pair of t-strap sandals; I didn't recognize the brand, but wished I could, if only to be properly jealous. Her only jewelry was her heavy gold linked necklace and an elegant gold wristwatch. Her makeup was, as before, perfect.

She was utterly beautiful, the embodiment of femininity. To my eyes, she seemed entirely confident.

I realized how outclassed I was by this woman. I wilted, just a little, before taking a deep breath in an attempt to regain my nerve.

Looking around, I saw the two of us in a nearby mirror.

Beside the reflection of the tall, black-haired beauty, I saw my smaller figure, my blonde hair in a rough bob cut.

Intellectually, I knew that I was attractive, that my figure drew admiring looks from the boys, but looking at us in the mirror, I felt entirely second-best.

I was pretty; Claire was gorgeous. I had a nice figure; hers was stellar. She had poise, confidence - charisma if it came to that. I was struggling with every insecurity in the book.

And - and - she was Gideon's friend, quite probably a great deal more than that.

In short, Claire had womanly power; all I had were girlish hopes.

It was those hopes which had led me to again show up wearing Gran's triskelion necklace, the one I'd worn when I first met Claire and Gideon. I'd known its BDSM connotation from the first, but it had taken Gideon a lot of effort to get me to acknowledge that link when first we'd met.

Today, thinking I'd meet Gideon again, not only was I wearing the necklace, but I'd again left both knickers and bra in the drawer. Unlike my first excursion however, I had today dared to wear a simple white blouse. That decision had met with Inner Zoe's unqualified support. I figured that I would be fine unless we got hit with an unseasonal rain shower.

Turning away from the mirror, I looked down towards my knees before realizing to my shock that I was backlighted by the sun shining in through the window of the cafe. My breasts were clearly visible through the thin cotton.

I turned scarlet. I was prepared for almost anything, but not such an open display of... what?

Wasn't my intent to risk detection, to take it to the limit? But now I'd been detected.

Again.

At that realization, Inner Zoe began laughing her head off.

"They're very nice, Zoe," Claire said softly. Damn it, could she read my mind?

Despite my embarrassment, for I was for some reason reassured. It would have been so very easy for her to have humiliated me.

Without responding, I reached into my purse and pulled out a flash drive, pushed it across the table. She picked it up without examining it and put it into her own bag, rose to depart.

"He'll be in touch, dear."

"Um, OK?"

She rose, started to leave, but stopped when I spoke her name. "Claire?"

"Yes?" Armoured in her imperiousness, she said it without turning back, as if it - and I - didn't matter.

"You can tell Gideon I've got my implant."

At that, she turned to look at me.

"Implant? Birth control?"

"Yes."

Her face was impassive. Had I pleased her or annoyed her? Worse, did she now see me as a rival? I didn't know.

She looked at me, her face expressionless behind her large, round sunnies. It occurred to me that I had no idea what colour her eyes actually were.

"Don't hurt him, Zoe," she said very softly, her face impassive. "I mean that. Don't you ever hurt him. If you do, I'll find you even if you hide in the back of beyond."

With that, she wheeled and left, her superb behind swaying from side to side.

I was stunned. First off, there was a very, very real menace in her statement and I realized that I did not want her as an enemy. I decided that I needed to woo Claire, to make her like me, or, at the least, accept me.

Oddly, I also sensed fear - or, at the very least, concern - in her voice. This from a woman who on the surface appeared to be completely self-confident, possessed of everything any girl could wish. And, very curiously, it was concern for Gideon, the man who had to me seemed so powerful, so full of strength! How very peculiar.

There was obviously much I had to learn about both Gideon and about Claire.

+

"Hello, Zoe," said her voice on the phone. "Gideon asked me to call. He's having a small party Friday next and wonders if you could make it."

"What sort of party?" I asked. (Not that it would make any difference. If Gideon asked, I would be there.)

"A casual dinner party. Quite intimate. Don't bother dressing formally or anything."

"Oh. Oh, yes, I'd love to!"

"Good! Gideon said to indulge your fancies."

Now that put things in a different light entirely. Gideon - and by now Claire - knew precisely what sort of 'fancies' on my part had first brought us together. While not a blatant invitation to get kinky, it was at least an invitation and quite possibly a strong hint.

"I'll be there," I said, firmly. "What may I bring?"

"Just you." With that, she hung up.

I thought of how her voice had sounded. Was she upset? If so, was she upset at me for Gideon's interest? Was she irritated at Gideon for having her relay his invitation? Or upset at both of us for that afternoon in his flat? I couldn't decide and it bothered me.

In reality, I didn't know that much about Gideon and Claire. I thought Claire had implied the party was to be... quirky.

But was it really? What if I was wrong and showed up in some form of sexy costume when everybody else was not? or what if I arrived in a party dress and everybody else was...?

I felt lost. Was this a test of some sort? A challenge? Or even a teaching point, something one or both of them wanted me to learn from, possibly by making mistakes, maybe even embarrassing ones?

I thought of calling her back, but decided against it. I didn't want to appear too naïve and, if it was a test, I'd have blown it right there.

Well, what did I want?

For once, Inner Zoe and I were in full agreement. I knew that I wanted Gideon - on whatever terms he offered. I had never felt so fulfilled as during that time in his flat. I had never felt so much a woman, so ready to offer myself, so eager to be accepted.

But where to go from that? I was uncertain, confused.

In the end, I decided to go back to what had brought us together in the first place.

Less the vibrator.

I decided not to use rope this time. Rather, I could get 'dressy' under my clothes with something both more and less traditional. If the party was 'conventional', it could stay hidden. If not...

After a lot of really fun research on the net, I decided on fine gold-coloured chains. I'd done a basic jewellery-making hobby course when I'd first arrived in Melbourne and knew a gem store where I could get everything but a couple of key items. Those last I knew I could find at Kay's, the upscale sex shop where I'd bought the shibari cords for my first big adventure.

I was excited - turned on - throughout my shopping trip. I could feel sexual tension throughout my body. I was darned near ready to explode by the time I got home.

I ran my fingers under the hem of my panties, then stopped. I found that I liked being on the edge and, if - as I hoped - the party would be my Big Day, then I wanted to not lose it. I wanted to walk in there tingling, so to speak. Silly, perhaps, but that was the plan.

I'd settled on a two-piece design, like a bikini - much skimpier, of course.

The bottom had one length of chain running around my waist like a belt, falling down in front and held together by a gold-coloured triskelion about the size of a dollar coin over my mound. From there, two more chains passed between my legs, one on either side of my labia, and ran up between my cheeks to join the waist chain at the small of my back.

The top part had a simple two-strand necklace descending to my breastbone, from which hung a matching triskelion. From that, two more double loops of chain fell almost to my navel before rising back up to my breasts, where they were anchored off a pair of simple elastic nipple loops.

I confess that it was hard to keep my hands off myself while I was working on them. Knowing what they were intended for was exciting and my mind kept drifting to various fantasies - hopes? - of what would be happening at Gideon's flat.

When I eventually finished them, I slipped both pieces on and examined myself in the mirror.

It all lay flat enough to be essentially invisible under clothing.

Minus the clothing, it was not so much a costume as it was gift wrap - a screaming exhortation to jump me.

Inner Zoe screamed her approval. Someday, I thought, it would be real gold. Just you wait, world!

I had a little black party dress which would show off the top medallion well and a pretty good pair of black heels. With that, I was satisfied - and very, very eager.

Truth be told, I was also a bit frightened. This might be my 'coming out' party, so to speak, my chance to actually gain entry into Gideon's world, or at least what I imagined his world would be.

Before my walk that day, I'd dreamed of somebody like him. My time in his flat had been a dream come true, even if he'd grown a conscience and refused to take me to his bed.

I'd so wanted that. The feeling of rejection still lingered, a fear that I just wasn't pretty enough, interesting enough to please him.

The day of the party, I took the afternoon off.

I took a long shower, waxed, did my hair and got meticulous about my makeup. I wasn't normally a big-makeup kind of girl, but this evening probably warranted it. I nibbled on some dates and tried to compose myself.

Eventually, time passing, I put on the chain outfit. Turning again in front of the mirror, I felt myself again becoming more than just a little excited. Before that café, I'd never met a boy I'd cared to lose my virginity to. Within an hour of meeting Gideon, I was ready.

And he'd turned me down. He was being responsible, fair, but it still had stung.

But tonight, I had my hopes. I felt like Jacqueline's Natalie - totally inexperienced but completely willing, utterly ready. This was, I hoped, Zoe's Day.

The bob cut made my hair look super-sophisticated and was easy to bring back with but a few minutes in front of a mirror. I didn't need Inner Zoe's cheering to tell me I looked good.

I pulled the black dress over my arms and wiggled it into place before doing up the row of buttons in the front. It took me a minute of experimenting to decide whether I should button it low enough to show some good cleavage (and the chains below the triskelion) or do up one more button and just show the medallion itself. In the end, I decided to let the medallion talk for my boobs and left the button done up.

I ran my hands down over the dress to smooth it out and spun again in front of the mirror. Perfect - sleek as a seal, girl!

I put a minimal purse together, slipped into my heels, picked up the bottle of wine I'd put by the door and left. Even though movement of the harness was somewhat inhibited by the fabric of my dress, I could feel it pulling on my nipples as my unconstrained breasts moved with each step.

I liked the feeling.

20 minutes later, the tram dropped me a block from Gideon's flat.

I buzzed his door from the street. In seconds, I heard the sound of the latch admitting me to the building. Taking a deep breath, I made my way up the marble stairs to the first floor.

As I walked up, I listened for music, conversation - any indication of the party having started. More uncertain than ever, I began worrying about being the first to arrive, of being seen as too eager.

It was dead quiet on the stairs. There was not a sound.

Had I got the time wrong? Maybe even the date? I didn't think I had. I kept walking.

When I knocked, Claire opened the door.

I clearly hadn't needed to worry about being overexposed, for Claire's outfit consisted of her gold necklace, heels and a peignoir so sheer that the floor-length garment could have been stuffed into a teacup. No more substantial than a morning mist enveloping her body, it was both less and much, much more than plain nudity.

I could see that each of Claire's small nipples was pierced with a tiny gold barbell, clearly visible through the diaphanous fabric. The ends matched the links in her necklace; their gold colour contrasted perfectly with the skin beneath them.

And perfume. Too much of the perfume sold these days is so bold as to be almost tyrannical. This was subtle, but mind-consuming in its richness. It didn't fight her looks for my attention, it complimented them, amplified them.

My eyes must have bulged a little, for she smiled. This smile however was gracious and warm and made it clear that I was indeed welcome. It also confirmed that Claire was totally confident with her body image, in her near-nudity.

I so wanted to be Claire.

I felt my body shivering and not from cold. Although I'd never walked that side of the street, I suddenly realize that if I couldn't have Claire as my friend, I might not mind having her as my lover.

She pretended to ignore my expression and called, "Gideon! Look who's here!" Why she had to raise her voice I didn't know, for there seemed to be only the three of us there.

Gideon was a slender man, with just a bit of grey showing in his dark hair and short, well-trimmed beard. Right then, he was across the flat, in the kitchen taking up one corner of the large room. Being thus greeted by Claire, I was somewhat disappointed to see him dressed in a casual set of daks and a white shirt buttoned about half-way up.

I wasn't sure what exactly I'd been hoping for, of course. My daydreams hadn't been that specific.

He waved casually at me, smiling brightly before returning to his cooking. "Get her a drink!" was all that he said.

I looked around. It was clear that there were only the three of us in the flat.

"Am I early?" I asked Claire.

She gave a low giggle. "No, but I did say it was to be a small party."

At that moment, I noticed a table set with, yes, just three places.

"Oh."

This wasn't turning out anything how I had thought it would. On the other hand, my fears about my lack of social graces and inexpereience in front of Gideon's friends would be easier to keep on a leash this way.

In short order, Claire had put a drink into my hands. I took it gratefully.

A moment later, Gideon put a lid on a pot and came over to give me a hug, which grew into a three-way hug when Claire joined in. I wasn't sure whose hand it was that cuddled my bum, but knew that I liked it either way.

Breaking the hug, Gideon motioning Claire and I towards a nearby couch. Waiting for us both to be seated, he sat on a matching overstuffed chair opposite.

Between us was the leather-covered ottoman on which Gideon had positioned me for my first display. I felt my mouth go dry at the memory.

"Thank you for coming, Zoe," Gideon said, raising his glass in a toast.

"I wouldn't have missed it for anything," I replied, "but I thought there would be more people."

"Three's enough," he smiled.

Putting down his drink, he reached behind his chair and produced a rectangular object wrapped in a heavy brown paper and sealed with plain sticky tape. He passed it to me. "A memory," was all he said.

Curious, I weighed it in my hands. It was not overly heavy. Perhaps 18" long, it felt like a framed photo of some sort.

He and Claire both looked at me with an encouraging look on their faces. I opened it to find a neatly-framed photo of me, taken by Gideon in this very room. I was kneeling on the ottoman, my knees apart, my hands behind my neck. The shibari cords had just been removed, but their marks could still be clearly seen in my flesh. My eyes were open, bold, almost wanton.

I looked amazing.

More than I could have thought possible. Gideon had captured precisely how I had imagined myself. Looking at the photo, I remembered perfectly how it had felt - the incredible arousal, the longing, the hope, the thrill, the soul-twisting satisfaction. I hadn't thought that I could possibly look that sexy, that desirable. My doubts about myself ebbed, just a little.

I looked up to see both of them beaming at me.

"Thank you," I said softly. I was amazed, pleased and very, very touched.

Claire leaned in and kissed me, chastely, on my lips. My heart soared - did this mean she viewed me as a friend?

"We looked through all of them and I was certain that this was the best one," she said.

That statement gave me another clue as to their relationship, I realized.

Standing up, her gaze turned to Gideon.

"Gideon," she said to him, "I get the feeling that both you and Zoe need to shed some clothes. I'm pretty sure she has something special underneath - look at her necklace."

Gideon looked at it and me. One eyebrow went up in curiosity.

Claire gave a small smile, "I told her we didn't dress for dinner."

I looked from one to the other.

He smiled back in obvious pleasure. At that, I felt something begin to grow within me, something I wasn't sure of - something uncertain, something curious, something daring - maybe all three at once.

"Indeed we do not," he siad. "Zoe, would you mind if I got 'more comfortable'?"

I shook my head.

With that, while Gideon didn't move, Claire got up from beside me and, kneeling gracefully before him, began unbuttoning his shirt. Gideon's grey eyes were riveted to mine - waiting to see my reaction, perhaps?