Zoe and Lizzy's Excellent Adventure

Smokey Saga #64: "Beauty Pool Knockout II: Zoe And Lizzy'z Exzellent Adventurez"

*****

Hello, dear friends! Mea culpa for taking my sweet time to get back to Zoe and L.B. here before now. "Knockout" was another story that picked up a few "sequests," and while like a lot of sequels it'll be tough to live up to the original, I hope you like it. But if you enjoy Zoe Et Lizzy Deux, and would like a Zoe Et Lizzy Trois, ask away. Any story and sequel can garner their share of "threequests" and coming up with new ideas for my characters is always fun. If you're unfamiliar with the story on which this sequel is based, in this case, I recommend going back and reading it first. Its title is indeed "Beauty Pool Knockout," it's Saga #46, and you can find it elsewhere in my library. Interestingly, this sequel's set in the same month I created these girls (February 2015).

While clearly a reference, the sequel title is only whimsical (and yes, the words are intentionally misspelled). The lasses certainly don't travel through time to a radical fututopia with George Carlin. Instead, they...well, you'll see. Enjoy, cheers, thank you for stopping by, happy reading, and feedback's welcomed, valued and appreciated. ***This Saga has been modified from its original version and formatted to fit this screen. No animals were harmed in the writing of this story. The fictional persons and events in this fictive work of fiction are fictitious. Any similarity to actual persons or events is purely unintentional and coincidental.***

*****

24 Hours From You-Know-Where

Saturday, February 7th, 2015, 7:10 p.m.

It was not a dark and stormy night.

Good old reliable Sunny Ray was below the horizon for the evening, passing the circadian baton to friendly Luna Moona. The interior of 810-2C Wilson Apartments stood still, peaceful and quiet. Then the door opened, and in stepped Lizzy-Beth Williams.

Oh, what a day! This morning Lizzy had the inspiration to bring an unexpected treat to work at PetCo: glazed and jelly doughnuts for everyone. The supplemental breakfast was enjoyed, then she was on the clock. Her main body of work took place in the cubby hole where the young cats and kittens were situated. Lizzy-Beth adored cats. Right up there with swimming, they were one of her favorite things in the world. Her own kitty at home, Muffins, a two-year-old Himalayan, spent her day in the top of her kitty house, watching over her queendom and dozing. Actually, the cat's full name was Muffinstein de Rossi Etheridge Maddow Navratilova Toe-Claws, but Muffins sufficed for short. And it saved them countless minutes calling out the kitty's name (not that it did any good; she only came when she wanted). She slept in bed with her owner—and her owner's girlfriend—during the night, and frankly never appreciated that rude noise the clock made in the morning, nor her Mommies' daily departure. She rather felt a bit insulted by it all. Why on Earth would they want to leave, when they could stay home all day, playing with, petting, pampering and worshiping her??

But they always returned home sooner or later, those silly humans. Lizzy-Beth's duties at PetCo included feeding the adoptable cats, scooping their litter, showing them off to the interested customer, and playing with them, God bless America. It was for demonstrative purposes, of course—a cat's cuteness and love of play were big selling points for new owners—but Lizzy still couldn't believe she actually got paid to play with half a dozen adorable felines, then come home and carry on playtime with her own cat. Sometimes life could be so nice. Today was a big day, as Saturdays tended to be. On busier days like this, her job description expanded with more tasks. While not with the cats, she also sold product to shoppers, directed them where to find their pet needs, and cashiered as necessary. She did so much running around today, she actually shaved an ounce or two off her body weight.

But PetCo was her occupation—as Wilson Apartments, Commons County was her home—only eight months out of the year. May through August were spent in Fisherman's Bay, at the Bayside Inn on 38th and Fisherman's Avenue. It was here she resided and did her other job in the summers, lifeguard at the Bayside Inn's massive indoor pool. Though only seasonally, she'd been at this job longer and grown too attached to give it up. PetCo missed her and her devoted work in the summer, but just like a child starting school again, come September, back she was. Sometimes, even Lizzy-Beth Kessie Williams needed one heck of a vacation.

But the water...oh, swimming was just ever so delightful as cats for Lizzy, if not more. Even when frantically going under to snatch a drowner, she felt the passion in the midst of panic, stroking, pushing, kicking through the water. So magically freeing...so wondrous. Lizzy-Beth felt truly fortunate. Almost 29 years old, and she'd already been blessed with two potential careers, corresponding to two of her greatest loves. And then of course, there was a most recently attained third great love in her life.

"Zoe...oh, Zohhhh-eeee..." she sang tunelessly, wishing there was an actual song called "Zoe" for her to croon. This performance, natch, was in reference and deference to the woman who'd last summer become her beloved girlfriend: Zoe Trix Palmer. One stormy, enigmatic night last July at the Inn, Zoe'd accidentally knocked herself out and fallen in the pool. She could've possibly drowned had Lizzy-Beth not been there with the necessary skills. She'd saved the girl's life, which she kept modest vis-à-vis (but still gave her a small thrill when she put it in perspective). She saved far more lives than the average individual. But she couldn't get a swelled head over it.

Speaking—or, singing—of Zoe, shouldn't she be home right about now? A Saturday at her beauty salon was a big day too, but she never came back long after 6:30 or 7:00. Zoe still kept her own apartment nearby in Statler as of right now, but often as she'd been staying here, she'd practically moved in already. Which was just fine with Lizzy-Beth. Muffins may have felt differently.

"Mrow!" declared Muffins, following her Mommy into the kitchen to rub her legs and give her the business. "Mrow! Mrow! Mrow!!"

"Mrow!" Lizzy countered, mimicking her tone. She opened the fridge and freezer together, studying contents. She and Zoe had started something of an unspoken pattern that whoever got home first would usually make dinner. Unless of course neither felt like it, in which case they went out or ordered in. Muffins sniffed the bottom drawers and meowed at the veggie crisper.

"Salad?" asked Lizzy-Beth, alluding to the head of lettuce inside. "Well, that's one idea. Let's see what Zoe wants, how 'bout it?"

Zoe indeed got home a few minutes later. Lizzy, who'd adjourned to her/their bedroom to straighten a few things up, heard the door reopen and bounded back out. But the person she saw enter was not the same Zoe who normally carried that beautiful smile on her face. This Zoe was frowning, furrowing, and...almost tearful, in fact. Oh my gosh, thought Lizzy-Beth. What happened?

Zoe didn't seem to register her girlfriend's presence there in the same room, nor that of said girlfriend's cat. But she failed to care whether Lizzy-Beth saw her do what she was about to do or not. She removed her purse by the strap, whipped it in the air with a mix of frustration and ire, and slung it down into the sofa like an angry missile. Then she sat. She didn't even take off her coat. She simply planted herself in the sofa beside her wounded pocketbook, clamped her hands over her unhappy face, and whimpered.

Lizzy's eyebrows jumped at the violent purse abuse. This really wasn't like Zoe. Something was even more wrong than she thought.

The oblivious Muffins was the first to attempt communication. She repeated her meows and rubbed Zoe's legs.

Zoe gently shoved Muffins away with her foot. "Cat, please just get lost," came the anguished mutter. Appearing to pick up the hint, the scorned Muffins turned up her nose. She slunk off with indignance. Well! she seemed to say. I never!

Wow, she really is upset.

"Wow, you really are upset. Well, I hope you're not gonna tell me to please just get lost too, 'cause I'm not prepared to do that."

Lizzy-Beth sat cautiously beside and slipped her arm around Zoe.

"Sweetie-bear, what on Earth is the matter? Tell me."

Zoe leaned over in her direction, dropped her head in Lizzy's bosom, and emitted a noise that sounded remarkably like the loud clock that irritated Muffins so. It was actually a loud groan, but muzzled by her paws, sounded quite like an alarm or a car horn.

She felt Lizzy-Beth swaddle her in her other arm as well, and finally lowered her hands with a sigh.

"Worst stupid effing day...of my whole stupid effing life."

Lizzy-Beth was so very sad to hear that.

"Oh, honey!...I'm so very sad to hear that!" As was Lizzy's nature, she gave a small try to humor Zoe out of it. "Well, this must be serious. I've never heard you use the 'eff' word before."

She was hoping for a tiny chuckle at most, but got just the opposite. Zoe started crying.

"Aw, babe, I...I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean it!" Lizzy-Beth apologized. "Please don't cry, Zoe, I didn't mean to tease you. I was just trying to make you smile. Please, Zoe, I can't handle it when people cry. I just can't deal with it. I never know what to do!"

Well, that was true. The very seldom times Zoe had been sad enough to cry in front of her, Lizzy's methods of cheering her up had proved tactless and inept. Zoe tried to stop crying for her girlfriend's sake. It wasn't Lizzy's fault she'd had such a terrible day. She was home now; she could pull it together, spill it all out, and lap up the sympathy like a bowl of Muffins' yummy milk.

"Okay," she grumbled, wiping her nose. She sat back up with a sigh.

"Well..." Sniffle. "I guess it just feels like...since yesterday, right about this time—like someone's put a curse on me, Lizzy. Right now it's 7:...I dunno, whatever. So, y'know, last night, at...7:whatever, I tried to make dinner, but I totally screwed it up, so we just ordered Chinese. And I know that's not such a big deal, but I think it was a bad omen, 'cause I've been screwing everything up since. I banged my knee on the coffee table...I ripped my pajamas...and whether it was that Chinese food or God knows what else, I had these awful freaking nightmares all freaking night. Then today, I got out of bed and stubbed my toe! And then...heh! I slipped in the shower. I had to grab the knob just so I didn't fall...again...and I turned it the wrong way, and I burned myself."

"Oh, sweetheart, I'm so sorry! You've gotta be careful! Just take your time, and watch what you're doing. And where you're going."

"Oh, Lizzy, that doesn't help! You know how clumsy I can be! You saw what happened last summer! But today, it was like my clumsiness hit a whole new level. Now, listen; I'm not done yet.

"So on the way to work, someone cuts me off. And that scares the crap out of me, but I figure, well, at least that wasn't my fault. I got to work okay, but then every-effing-thing went downhill. I mean, I'm sure I did some customers okay, but all I can remember were the disasters. Like this one lady, I was giving her a manicure, and I poked her in the hand with the nail file. I didn't break her skin, but, I doubt she'll be back. Then I'm cutting another lady's hair, and I nipped her ear with the scissors. I didn't draw her blood either, but, God! So I'm thinking, what is wrong with me?! I just all but lost another customer! No one is ever this klutzy, not even me!

"So, here's the capper. The one that really killed me. Last one of the day wanted me to frost her. So I point her face to the mirror, but...believe it or not, she says she doesn't wanna see herself till it's all done. Said she wants the final result to be a surprise. And...well, I have never heard anyone say that in my life, but I figure, if she's serious...the customer's always right. So here goes nothing.

"And I'm doing my best on her, working my magic...and it's actually looking really good! And I started to get my confidence back. I mean, she looks hot, Lizzy. She looks amazing! And I'm feeling good now. I'm thinking, this is it! The end of the curse! It's over! And I'm done. And I give her the hand mirror so she can see. And...I'm looking at her hair, not her face. I'm thinking how awesome it is. I'm waiting for the praise. I-I just can't even help it, I'm already congratulating myself inside. And I hear her say—and I quote..."

Zoe took a deep breath, and did her best imitation of the woman's voice.

"...'Oh, HELL, no.'"

Lizzy-Beth's face washed in grave concern.

"Ohhh, dear..."

"I know, right?!" Zoe abruptly snapped. "And I'm like...did I hear you right, lady?? Well, I didn't say that, but...I said, you don't like it? And she..." Zoe started breathing heavy again, reliving the scariness of the moment. "Well...she said a bunch of stuff I really don't wanna repeat...lot of very...colorful language, and...so, she demands I fix it! And I'm like, fix...fix what??! You look incredible! I'm like, to all the girls, doesn't she? And they all start agreeing with me, complimenting her like crazy! But she's not having any of it. She gets up and leaves, and she refuses to pay me, Lizzy. Not only does she refuse to pay me, she goes, 'You'll be lucky if I don't sue your ass!'"

Zoe's voice cracked narrating these last quoted words. She dropped her face back in her hand, indicating she was done now. Her girlfriend shut her eyes in a wince, feeling the pain in her heart on Zoe's behalf.

"God..." Lizzy empathized and sympathized. "I'm so sorry, honey...I wish I knew what to tell you. I mean...no one's threatened to sue me at the pool...I guess people feel like it's a little extreme to sue a lifeguard. But I can tell you at PetCo, sometimes we really screw up with customers too. I mean...it's customer service. We do our best, just like you and your girls at the salon; we all do our best—but, you know this: we just can't please everybody. It's just the nature of the biz, Zoe. Cubby-bear, some people are just always gonna be upset, no matter what, and you can't do a thing about it."

"Oh, dearheart, I know that, but..." Zoe wept. "But what if she really does sue me? What if I lose..." Zoe clammed up, unable to finish the question, as if it might come true if said out loud. "I...I can't lose my salon, Lizzy. I just can't. It's everything to me. It's my life."

"Well..." Lizzy-Beth continued hugging her, trying to think of more supportive things to say or do. "Zoe, I'd love to tell you that you won't lose it, that somehow I'll do whatever it takes, but...I'm not sure it's in my power. I mean, we'll...we'll deal with it if it happens, Zoe. We'll get your girls and our families and some legal help on our side. We'll do everything we can. And...well, this is speculative, but...I mean, you're brilliant at what you do, Zoe. You're a genius. You're a beauty wizard. And if you and everyone who works with you thought this woman looked good with her frosted hair, then I'm willing to bet whatever judge hears your case will too."

Zoe looked back up and blinked her teary-red half-moon eyes at Lizzy. Her face blurred and refocused through the lacrimal shimmer.

"That actually really does make me feel better...oh, Lizzy, thank you. I love you so much...I dunno what I'd do without you."

"Darn straight you don't," Lizzy-Beth kidded her. "And I know just the thing to turn that frown upside-down. I'm gonna take you straight to our therapy clinic—Dairy Dreams—and I'm gonna buy you the most delicious two-scoop waffle cone you've ever had."

Zoe almost instantly felt her mouth start watering.

"Oh, honey, that sounds sooo good, but the way my luck's been going, I'll probably drop it on the floor and cry like a three-year-old."

"Silly, that's what they have bowls for!" Lizzy giggled, rubbing Zoe's hungry belly. "Seriously, angel, all joking aside, this is just a matter of mind over...well...matter. If you just keep focused, I know you can overcome your little missteps."

"Mmm," Zoe nuzzled her. "You are the best and finest thing that has ever happened to my life, Lizzy. Hands down."

"Okay." Lizzy-Beth reached southward with both paws, groping Zoe's tush with one and rubbing her between the legs with the other.

Gasp. "LIZzy!"

"What? You said, 'Hands down.'"

"I didn't mea—"

Before she could get out the "—n literally!" Lizzy-Beth's impish smile disarmed her. It rendered Zoe weak in the knees, making it a lucky, lucky thing they were sitting down. The last thing she needed was to take another tumble, or harm herself anymore. But Lizzy's smile and the significance behind set Zoe's heart to fluttering. And the facetious mischief therein highlighted her playful, sometimes even wicked sense of humor, which had a similar effect. Sometimes Lizzy-Beth made her giggle, squeal or get quite excited with the slightest roguish gesture. And it never failed to endear her only more and more to Zoe.

While having her momentarily off-guard, Lizzy kissed her. Zoe felt her eyelids drop shut to settle in and revel. She squeezed Lizzy-Beth, her soft, curvy girl figure, feeling her insides teem with comfort and goodness, and her troubles of the past twenty-four hours already melting away. She'd spoken the truth. She really didn't know what she'd do without Lizzy by her side, now that they'd been together the last six months. They'd been by far the happiest, brightest, most joyful six months of her life.

She could have stayed like this eternally, but Lizzy-Beth abruptly broke the kiss and stood up.

"A'right, I'm gonna go get dressed. You're just about all set, but you might wanna grab your cap and mittens too."

"Wha—" Zoe was disoriented. "...But I thought we were...y'know, getting...friendly."

"We were, but now it's time to go out for ice cream."

"B—...can't that wait?"

"Not at all. They're only open till 9:00, and if we let ourselves get too friendly first, it'd be much too late by the time we were done."

"...Well, yeah, but, Lizzy...snookums, uh...couldn't we just go there tomorrow instead? We're both off all day."

"Not at all."

Something told Zoe she should have seen the answer to that one coming.

"The parlor's only open to 5:00 on Sundaes—ha, ha—and besides, I've already mapped out tomorrow's entire activity in my mind. PetCo's just given us all an early Valentine's present in the form of our quarterly bonuses. And tomorrow, I'm going to take you to the mall as soon as it opens, and spend the hell out of it. I'm gonna buy us more bags of stuff than we can carry."

Zoe's eyes opened as wide as saucers. She loved this idea. And she didn't at all mind spending her entire day this way. The mall was one of her sanctum sanctorums, a magical shopping haven where everything was nice, and where they could buy anything their eager beating hearts desired. She assumed Lizzy-Beth meant the Juniper Mall. It wasn't as expansive as Bloomington's legendary Mall Of America (although what mall could be?), but was closer in proximity and boasted many of their same favorite stores. Actually, there was talk of Juniper Mall add-ons later on in '15 or '16. It was very exciting news. Lizzy and Zoe loved shopping, and not just for any one type of merchandise. They needn't always shop, either; sometimes they just went and enjoyed the atmosphere. Sometimes they scavenger hunted, sometimes they hung out, sometimes they did what they were about to do tonight, and got something tasty to eat.