When I was a young adult, I did have a recurring sexual relationship with a gay friend who I trusted very much. It was all good and even though I have not had one since, I remember it and it arouses me. Sexual fantasies did not actually occur for me until my mid twenties. I was visiting my parents and when my mother left the living room to go to bed, she paused at the door, took her hair down and looked back at me. What did this mean? I'll never know.

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