A novice diary time writer at this. I'm sure, as with most men, the sensual realms of the imagination are there, but the trick is to attempt to put pen to paper and draw that mind's image.
I think shared nights between two should be relaxed, trusting, soothing to the mind as well as the body. I think I'd you're both not laughing and giggling and totally unplugged from the toils of the world - then you're not hitting all those rights spots. Timers and stop watches have no place in the bedroom ... hourglasses? maybe.
Location
Texas