rubrica

I'm not sure what I could say that would be of interest to anyone.
I think as writer's it's certainly best to avoid writing your own biography in my experience. Most writers tend to be either too harsh on themselves, or have a distorted view of themselves, and it's really only through the filter that we might see some glimmer of the truth. And yet, fiction is certainly not reality, so what strange paradox is this? I will say that I am not currently satisfied with what I have tried to accomplish. I have tried to give back and attempt creation. However, creation doesn't always go as planned. We never know how things will be taken, or even that someone understands our reasons for doing so might have some very deep and lasting feelings. I haven't done much writing over the year. I just haven't felt very inspired lately, and that's no crime as everyone has low periods. Every time I go to write I now struggle with confusion, and it is so rare that I don't have some idea I could write about, but I'm not sure it always makes sense or flows very clearly. Focus issues do present itself at times, and it's a genuine struggle. Then, there are either people who say nothing out of politeness, or want to tear everything down that has any chance of potential. I know it's an unfair world, so for the most part things will rarely turn out as you hope or expect;especially these days.The world that is constantly telling people how to live, what to say, how to think, what to avoid...I don't know about you, but that takes a certain amount of fun and joy to the process we call living. I don't like thinking people are disposable, and so many people act this way towards others. Maybe it is me that's been left jaded. Nothing has seemed normal for a good while, and I'm not sure when or if things will go back. I know many people write for pure fun and stress relief. I'm not sure I can say that's why I do it. I certainly don't do it for a paycheck. I feel a little sad sometimes that as a writer you put yourself out there, and if you're already a good writer people will generally like you, but if you're still struggling to carve a place for yourself to get better...that doesn't happen over-night, and there's not many places that allow you to explore rather than box you into someone's version of what 'right' means. So many people want you to be 'packaged ready', and I'm sorry but I just don't buy that idea.

They say it might take 10,000 hours to perfect a craft, that takes years. I don't really feel great about the few things I have wrote. Could it be better in other hands, perhaps? I was terrible at editing myself, but I can help others much more than I can myself. That's always been true. Maybe I feel they don't deserve to be read because I'm not sure I'm really conveying myself in the right way. Perhaps, that's a fault on me as a person who likes to write, but has trouble with the lows when either no one notices or is helpful, or worse when people go out of their way to find fault before they see you as a person. Honestly, I say screw that, anyone who wants to write should write, and don't let critics bully you into giving up or putting down a dream you desire, because you can do it, and you don't need their support or approval. It may not be as polished perhaps, but you can teach yourself the ins and outs. Don't let someone put down something you enjoy in the erotic arena. Sure, not everyone will like the same things, but I'm almost certain you can find at least one person who likes it. And if you can't find anyone who likes the same things as you, well you can probably find ways of going it alone and still finding some joy in it until you find someone who already is, or is curious. I find it very hypocritical that people feel the need to judge based strictly on wants or looks. Eroticism is so much more than most people really think about, and it does some good to ponder why we like what we do, and what other things are we willing to explore without feeling like people are taking advantage. Seriously, I doubt many women are reading another woman's profile, but my best advice is know yourself well enough to know what you like and are looking for...but don't let someone dictate your desires and wants. It's too easy for people to try to step on or over you. What they say about giving an inch (and they take the whole yard) is quite true. I consider myself submissive, but I know when something sounds too good to be true, or when something isn't adding up, and you should too. People not willing to risk anything, or give small details you should be weary about anyone who won't at least meet you half-way on something. If you are only wanting to write and not form connections, well it might not matter what you add to your bio. But, if you are, be aware that the other person may not really be interested in you, but a proxy for their fetish (which is fine if that's ok with you, but you do have to realize that it's a risk that you should weigh).