I've done what I've done and made the choices I've made for reasons that are valid to me. It does not matter if you do not understand, approve, disapprove or even care. For that matter, I consider myself a bastard, a monster. For by my own value set I have done monstrous things.
I'll clarify my motives in my writing. Honestly folks your enjoyment of my writing is a secondary consideration to me. While I like to tell a good tale, these are written and told in an effort to heal my own psyche. If you feel that everyone in my tales are miserable with momentary flashes of joy its because in my 6 plus decades of life that's how its worked out. I'm old and I'm tired and nearly everything I've spent my life working for is a lie. I'm making the best I can out of a shitty deal. Most of what I write about has actually happened to either myself or people I know. The reason some of it reads like real life is that it is real life with just a few details changed. Life has generally sucked for almost everyone, but it's still better than the alternative.
For those who would critique my view of the female half of the species as duplicitous and self-serving its because that has been my experience. For crap's sake, my own mother betrayed me for over 2 decades over my being the bio-dad of my son. Believe me its bad when even mom will help fuck you over like that. I am an acknowledged monster, a true bastard and maybe I deserved it, but for the past 30 plus years I've really tried to make up for the evil shit I did the ten years before that.
Gender
Male