I don't really want to give out a ton of information about myself here (I want to get a career in writing and don't want a guilty pleasure like this to bite me in the ass, you know?) so I'm gonna tell some true things and some lie things.
My name is Rodolfo Frappucino, a sapient chair from the swamplands of New Orleans. I am a long time reader and first time writer on Literotica, and I have recently become comfortable enough with my sexuality to start writing about bangin'. Writin' and bangin' are two things that I love to do, and I figured, hey, why not give that a shot. Being a sapient chair, my favorite smell is pants-butts, and my favorite sound is squeaking. Can't get enough of that shit. I am tired more often than I should be, and I would say that I was overworked except that who am I kidding, I would not be nearly this stressed if I actually got my work done on time. My family is accepting of my status as a priest in the church of Russel's Teapot, though they will not let me come back to the swamplands until I have found myself a nice ottoman to settle down and have footstools with.
I really hope that you like my work, whoever you may be, and that it's good enough to jack off to! Send me messages or whatever if you like my stuff!
Location
A Basement, Please Send Help