xlon

The secret of happiness is to admire without desiring (Carl Sandburg).

♥️ my Mims.

I do not sex chat, I apologise, but really, that's a good thing for you!

=== Results from http://bdsmtest.org/ ========================================

100% Not enough masochism and attention span to answer an 8 page questionnaire.

Or, to quote UnrulyUnicorn:

99.99% Feminist

0.01% Dad jokes

=== Testimonials ========================================================

TiniMims: "We played thrice so far and you never played this move!" (alas, it was chess)

Nicki19: "Grumpy but sociable."

CaitiGrr: "You have the most pinchable cheeks."

Catatonie: "Jungle man and all, reading THAT PROUST!"

Amy_1988: "Xlon, you came here to get off, but you are leaving knowing you have saved lives."

RedRoses3377: "Xlon, you are too deep for me."

Tuvadine: "looks distinguished as fuck though.. if I were gay or a woman.. I'd totally be on that like white on white rice."

Kitty_Munroe: "Did you actually say that, you weirdo?"

Necesse: "Ask your doctor if XLON is right for you. Side effects may include: Rectal bleeding. Scathing sarcasm. Casual racism. Tough titties. Fucking by example."

MissBehavingBadly: "you just make women make animal sounds."

UnrulyUnicorn: "Oh, I just want a fucking potato xeon."

ReneeTheRed: "You are too old for my taste, but..."

Wanderlust: "I'm offended that I'm not on your profile."

robbie_ryan: "Behind all the dad jokes is an egomaniac."

pink_silk_glove: "I tried to have sex with xlon but instead I caught virginity from him."

OhScubaKitten: "Moon does not control tides in my reality. Xlon makes it happen. Xlon is faster than a speeding slug."

ChatticusFinch: "This is the finest profile I ever read."

Buckeyefanatic1: "xlon: You might be the primary reason for global warming."

CelestialLuna: "You are a bad dildo, xlon."