Sicilian-American; Lord of All He Surveys; cosmologist; French horn virtuoso; collector of triangular things; soup connoisseur; former Formula 1 driver; John Holmes stand-in; heffalump, not woozle; Eloi, not Morlock; a man, standing in front of a woman, telling her "hey, nice hooters"; friend to the animals; part-time rodeo clown, full-time clown; paperclip, potato chip, and Fun Dip inventor; amateur gynecologist; adjunct professor of leisure activities at Full Sail University; water bear; one single jumping Jehosaphat; collector of rare curling cards; three-time Milner County belching champion; myopic maritime Mandalorian misanthrope; mostaccoli with garlic and herbs; licensed lycanthropist; submersible pilot; Jennifer Lopez's left butt cheek; penny farthing instructor; confirmed dangling participle; "Clair de Lune" in D-flat major; and the Real Deal. |