Let's see... I'm smart, witty, masculine, kind, compassionate, empathetic,rugged, intelligent,articulate, educated, confident. Did I mention modest? Did I mention handsome? I can recognize a fish fork three times out of four. I have all my own teeth, and I remember to brush them on a regular basis. I have no criminal record to speak of (except for that little incident in Tahiti and my lawyer has suggessted I refrain from talking about that) and no mental problems that I am obliged to report to airport security. I don't need to move my lips to read, and my library is not collocated with my toilet. I do not consider a clean ball cap to be formal wear. I recognize the importance of returning a toilet seat to the down position (aim is important too) and that achieving perfect pitch when one passes wind is not considered musical talent. I can take apart almost anything to repair it, but I rarely manage to put it back together without having extra parts left over. I have been known to occasionally stop and ask for directions when I'm lost, but I consider reading an instruction manual to be an admission of defeat. I can carry on a reasonably intelligent conversation on subjects other than baseball/hockey stats and NASCAR. I do not conside the Sports Illustrated Swim Suit addition to be a literary masterpiece. While I can enjoy the simple pleasure of a cold beer on a hot day, I do not consider it to be a basic food group. I like to look someone in the eye when I talk to them and only on the rarest of occasions do I speak to a woman's chest. I am aware of my many flaws, but choose to live my life in spite of them. I'm not holding out hope that there is a special place in heaven set aside for me, but I'm pretty sure that the devil would be worried about a hostile take over bid if I ended up down there, so I'm not quite sure where I'll end up... |
Gender: