- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Heisenberg's Principle
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perfection:
an illusion, a trick
of overstimulated neurons,
a passing spasm
relative,
perfect only
next to
reality
paradoxical:
pitch-perfect
exists only
as drawn
straight nose
soft lips
sculpted jaw
sinuous hands
strong thighs
the eyes
to die for
Heisenberg's principle,
Schrödinger's cat
observed,
you dissipate,
a fluke of light
you are perfect
in my imagination,
in my dreams,
and that's enough
- COMMENTS
Tio_Narratoreabout 9 years agoor would Berkeley give truth to Plato's lies?
Beautifully stated, legerdemer, the uncertain shadow that falls between the ideal and the realization.
Thanks for the metaphor...
greenmountaineerover 9 years agoNicely done, legerdemer. Using scientific concepts metaphorically I think is a real challenge. Not so inclined myself, I had to look them up. In today's Internet world and cyber poetry, that's only a click or two away. That's not a problem PROVIDED that the rest of the piece is well crafted. This is.
The first stanza felt like I was opening a textbook, which set the tone for me right away. In that regard, I'm wondering what would have been gained (or lost) if "Heisenberg's principle" was the first line? Nothing perhaps; just a thought.
Nice alliteration; not overdone IMO. Saying less is sometimes more. The 5th stanza with just 2 lines compared to the others, although of course they're short too, gave emphasis nonetheless to the image for me as I read it.
The last stanza was intriguing; the female counterpart to Pygmalion perhaps?
Very imaginative poem.
blin18over 9 years agoIf the purpose of poetry is to make people feel something different - even if just for a moment - then you have succeeded admirably. I don't mean that ironically or as faint praise, it really was lovely, thank you.
