- Non-Erotic Poetry
- When Once a Scribbler...
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Words on a page
invite, assuage
a pain, a hurt, a loss
with freeing turn of phrase.
The invitation is implied;
none but the right
poet need apply
to mold the phrase and give it flight.
A change of words can carve a soul
with cuts of thousand swords.
When two poets exchange
their inner thoughts,
what once was inside now glistens on the page.
- COMMENTS
AlwaysHungryover 8 years agoThis is my second attempt to leave a comment -- the software seems to have gone squirrelly.
I agree with GM on (one) thousand swords. However, I think that "now" serves the rhythm in the final line.
It's a lovely poem.
Anonymousover 8 years agoI like this very much, Mer, as I did in PF&D. I like the enjambment and the plain, crisp language. Some thoughts; take them as quibbles if they don't resonate:
Why not (one) thousand swords? It sounds better to my ear.
I don't think "now" is necessary in the last line. "what was once," I think implies it.
Wonderful proem.
For some reason my comment is listed as anonymous.
gm
