Riding The Slipstream

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44 words
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bluerains
bluerains
15 Followers

Soul weaver, riding the light stream
sharing the dreams, in the fullness
of night . Changing the future,
stealing the past,
making the choices, steering
the path.
Master of each destiny,
sharing all the memories,
molded like a diamond ring
circled on the slipstream

bluerains
bluerains
15 Followers
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  • COMMENTS
2 Comments
JCSTREETJCSTREETalmost 20 years ago
Lose the comma after "dreams"

sounds silly . . . but you'd get an extra 10 miles to the gallon

Carl

Lauren HyndeLauren Hyndealmost 20 years ago
I like it, but...

I think you should focus more on one single, powerful image, like the slipstream and all it represents. Otherwise the words, beautiful as they are, start to lose meaning.

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