- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Giants Wrestled
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Giants wrestled on the earth
Arms and knees gouging the ground
as they rolled across its floor
thrashing
demolishing all that lay in their path
crushing and tearing the trees
out by the roots
spit drooling from their lips
from their exertion
sweat weeping from their pores
until all that was left was their ashes
From this epic battle
left behind to remind us
a place of awesome beauty
Yosemite
Polished Half Dome, El Capitan
The falls and Merced Valley
A fitting tribute
To when giants wrestled on this earth
- COMMENTS
LeBrozalmost 16 years agoThis poem was selected from Lit's archive of over 39,500 poems for inclusion in today's Archival Review.<br>
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jthserraalmost 20 years agothe geological battle as it creates beauty out of the chaos. An interesting metaphor. One thing that grabbed me here was all the "ing"s. I think if you modify some of the words to a present tense it would make all this action that much more powerful: consider
"Arms and knees gouging the ground
as they rolled across its floor
thrashing"
Arms and knees gouge the ground
as they roll across its floor
thrashing...
and:
"spit drooling from their lips
from their exertion
sweat weeping from their pores"
spit drools from their lips
from their exertion
sweat weeps from their pores...
Try those few changes and change any past tense to present and see what you think. I think it will make the words more forceful.
An excellent poem here...
jim : )
Syndra Lynnalmost 20 years agothe giants were peace lovers and just got carried away having sex. Thanks for the fresh look!
tarablackwood22almost 20 years ago...premise and pulled off with a fine 'war of words'. Very interesting and very enjoyable.
