My Sexual Autobiography

Author's note: To start out, this isn't a very good story for a sophisticated jerk-off. It's an honest of my account of my sexual experiences and if it's remarkable, it's only remarkable for honesty. For understandable reasons, lit wouldn't allow me to include my account my pre-18 youth, so we start here where I'm a virgin but have some sexual experience.

It was in my second year of college that I met Fawn, who was to be my girlfriend for about a year a half. I should say that I'd been on something of a hot streak both in life and love. I had sustained a 4.0 GPA and developed a more athletic physique. Furthermore, I'd spent the summer with a group of stoner kids, among whom I was well liked. I finally had the beautiful, long blonde hair I'd always wanted and I feel it would have been only a matter of time before I'd gotten laid.

But I met Fawn, who was a chubby, plain looking girl. She put out after a couple of weeks. It was a terrible experience because we were making out and it was very late. I was tired and she suddenly said that she was willing to let me fuck her. I was unable to get hard for about ten humiliating minutes, partly because I wasn't very attracted to her and partly because I'd already cum slightly on her breasts. A virgin guy being unable to get hard is the most humiliating experience; I'd dreamed of this moment for so many years and it was an occasion only of shame. Eventually, I got hard and fucked her for a little. The next time I had a similar problem, largely out of anxiety.

Eventually, however, we developed a very good sex life. I generally had no trouble getting hard and we fucked like bunnies for that first term or so. She was surprisingly good in bed actually, with a very wet, tight cunt. She loved to be fingered in the asshole and I would often lick her there, although I have a rather short tongue. We had some particularly amazing sex when I was high on weed. I remember one time when I was just entirely one with the fuck, you could say: pure animal, pure confidence. She was quite the nympho; she wanted to have sex all the time. This would have been fine except that her behavior kept me so oppressed that I wasn't in the mood for daily fuck sessions.

I never cheated on Fawn during our relationship and eventually we broke up under very unpleasant circumstances. She's been largely responsible for wrecking my life but that's not part of my sexual autobiography.

Freed from Fawn, I didn't waste much time in gaining sexual experience. My first step was to meet a girl named Meg online. She got to the point by proposing that we meet and have sex, in public. I suggested a trendy smoothie bar in downtown Ashland. After picking her up in Jacksonville, and stopping briefly to finger her, we reached the smoothie bar. We ordered peach-berry smoothies and chatted pleasantly and sophisticatedly while we drank them. Then we went into the bathroom and I fucked her. T

he smoothies had been very good and it was exciting to do it in public and so we had good sex. We had much better sex back at my place, where we took our time and did lots of foreplay. Here, perhaps for the first time, I really got to indulge all my fantasies, licking her ass and her cunt, which was very cute, and indulging in the attitude I guess of sex. We don't talk about it much but attitude is very important to sex, and I don't mean any kind of naive bull like you see in porn mags and in popular culture. She was a somewhat chubby girl with, honestly, a very pimpled face. But her body was beautiful and I loved her sexual personality. We fucked regularly for a while, sometimes without a condom because she was on birth control, and I convinced her to try pissing into my mouth, a long time fantasy of mine. But she was nervous and only pissed a little bit, which nonetheless made me happy; it didn't taste very bad at all.

Around this time, I started visiting a strip club. Those were rather interesting nights; I'd never seen a beautiful girl naked and now I would see ten in a night and have them give me lap dances. At first I didn't drink very much there and overall, it was all a very good experience, a correcting force of capitalism. For it is true that many girls have very bad taste in men, preferring the most stupid and anally retentive specimens to be found and then referring to these characteristics as "macho," but all girls seem to like their money green. I had some very cool experiences at the strip club. One was this stripper named "Sapphire" who stayed and chatted with me even when I'd told her I was out of money. She complimented me on my smile. Girls compliment me on my smile quite a lot but it was very inspiring to hear it from this beautiful sexual being; it gave me some faith in humanity. Also, there was this girl I hung out with a bit. She was a very pretty girl with a clit ring and she loved to tug on it onstage.

Anyway, one night I drank an obscene amount, about twenty shots, and I had to sleep in my car. It was a freezing night and a cop came by and harassed me. The next morning, after having a latte and a muffin, I drove home half alive. After that, I never went to the strip club again.

About this time, I had a handful of sexual escapades. I fucked a pretty little red-headed eighteen year old in the back of my car and then at my house another time. We didn't use a condom and she had the tightest little cunt, which was very fun to fill with cum.

I fucked a blonde eighteen year old; she was quite fat but it was fun. She was very wet and kept telling me how huge I was. I got to fuck her one more time before she learned my true Bohemian, insanely wild identity. You see, I have hustler posters on my wall and am more interested in reading Shakespeare than owning a Porsche. Sheesh... I'm having trouble remembering everybody.

Okay, here's a more substantial relationship. I started having sex with a lesbian woman who was known to me as "Kitty." She was a pretty girl, about twenty-seven, and she was also a good friend of mine. I haven't seen her for a while; she went purely lesbian. But she wants me to get her pregnant in a couple weeks, actually, so I'm not going to say anything about our relationship. Except I will say that I'm hoping if we have a daughter we'll name her Titania, from a midsummer night's dream, a sign of our hope that she'll be a new, empowered female.

Then there was Stacy. I met Stacy on adultfriendfinder.com. She was a successful college student and a drop-dead gorgeous blonde. On our second date, with some very artful coaxing, I got to fuck her. The sex was phenomenal. Her pussy was shaved, beautiful and sweet-tasting. We fucked a few times, with a condom and she probably drifted off to seek variety or something. She was a Bush supporter but she'll always have a special place in my heart. Incidentally, she just wrote me saying she wants to hang out again but we'll see.

Then there's a black girl whose name I won't mention because she had a boyfriend at the time and for all I know they're still together. She was a responsible, successful girl and by this time, I had quite a reputation as a druggie and a troublemaker(with good grades nonetheless.) But she would come over just for the sex. She must have liked me at some point because she once she called me and said she just wanted to hear my voice. One time, when she was very horny, I was able to coax her into giving up her anal virginity. It wasn't as tight as I expected(I'm a little on the large side) but it was tight. We humped a bit back and forth with my fingering her wet clit and her moaning. I came in her ass with no condom.

I'll always remember these early sexual experiences fondly. I wish I'd grown up a prince and been able to experiment to my heart's delight. These days, I'm looking more for a real relationship. As Tom Petty says, "And if he gets lucky, a boy finds a girl, to help him get over the pain in this world." I'd like to find somebody to hold and cuddle. And if it turned into fucking, that would be fine.