My Way to Go

Here I am, then. Standing in front of a mirror in my luxury hotel room, looking at my nude body on the huge mirror. The body of a 23 years old woman, no older but no younger than that. I have a glorious tan, all around, for the first time in my life. My body is more fit than it has ever been, due to the hours spent in the hotel gym. My body is perfect, my mind is ready, and my decision is firm – although I could still chicken and run. But for what?

It has been a wonderful two months. The credit card given to me buys anything, from trips, top restaurant meals, nightclubs, to renting fast cars which I love – although I have had to drive responsibly, since that body I see on the mirror does not belong to me any more, it must not take any damage. Yet.

And hasn't that body had fun! Anything you can do in a tropical luxury paradise for the rich, making love to any interesting woman or man or couple I set my eyes onto; yes, I am good looking, smart, and educated enough to have anyone I like. Well, almost.

But no sex partner tonight. It is time to caress my body myself, gently touch every part of it, not forgetting my genitals and anus. I have toys to pleasure my dear orifices. I want to feel myself, and then to masturbate myself to sleep.

But first, I have to take those painkillers. Otherwise the cancer will remind of itself. With the pills, the pain stays away completely. I do not touch illegal drugs, they would only hide me from myself, and now I want to be myself. One hundred per cent.

I remember the sad, well, professionally sad anyway, look on the doctor's face when he said:

– I have bad news I'm afraid. The body scan has revealed several metastases, that is to say the spreading of your cancer to other body parts. The sad fact is that even if we remove the tumor, the cancer cannot be cured.

I was devastated.

– At the age of 23!

– Yes, it does happen, although statistically only..., ah, I'm so sorry.

– Glad to known I'm a statistical oddity. How much time do I have?

– Well, we will remove the main tumor anyway, and immediately begin chemotherapy and radiation therapy too, for the detected metastases.

– How much?

– A year, with the best treatment the modern science of medicine can provide. Rest assured, you insurance will cover all costs.

– And I will be vomiting due to chemotherapy, my mouth and my genitals will make it next to impossible for me to eat, let alone other things, I will lose my hair, etcetera?

My mother had gone that way when I was in my teens.

– Well, if you want to put it that way, about so. But everything will be done to make your last months easier.

– If I choose not to begin the therapy, how many good months would I have, months worth living a full life outside the hospital?

– I can guarantee you six months, but toward the end you will have to take some painkillers.

– And their side effects?

– None, they are quite effective these days, for instance..., ah sorry!

– I think that I'll take six good months rather than twelve months of misery.

– It's your choice, but I recommend that you consider carefully. Anyway, how to say, now is the time to do the things which must be done before you pass away. I'm so sorry!

– Thank you for your frankness and your work for me. Let's have the prescription for those painkillers, please. I will be in touch if I start the therapy.

So, I was in the position to choose my way to go. Away. From life. For good. Forever. To die.

I walk from the mirror to the bedroom of my hotel sweet, I lay down on the bed, and gently caress my body. I say aloud, but in a silent voice:

– Sorry, body, you are doomed, and so am I. We will die together. But we will go my way. Body, I know you have enjoyed this luxury vacation. Soon you will serve me, and them, like never before, in a way that few people have experienced. OK, all too many people in the course of history actually, but few in the present era in the western world, and by their own will. It's the end of my vacation paid by them now, and I'm sure they already have a plan for us. At the general level, since they can improvise of course, based on our responses. And we are ready and determined to give them the best possible response, till the point they have broken my will, and all we can do is to yank, squirm and scream.

I had found them through a friend who knew someone who new someone who knew a rich woman who liked to carry out and watch extreme torture. To the death, as gradually and slowly as the victim could take, then more than she or he could take, a lot more. They only used volunteers, women mostly, but occasionally men too. Or that is what that sadist bitch said; My Lady Mistress as I called her. I for sure was a volunteer: the deal that I offered was a couple of months' luxury vacation, then into their hands. They could do anything to me, but I would prefer some time sexual abuse with light punishment, then hard torture with maiming of my body, and then the main point – I must be dead before the good months promised to me end.

She tested me, with whips and electricity mostly. She said I was stronger than their average victims, quite acceptable. Then she summoned them, that group of sadists together, and humiliated and punished me in front of them. All of this without leaving any marks; she was quite good at the job. They accepted me, and the deal was closed. I got a credit card with a huge credit limit, and they arranged me a luxury vacation in this rich people's paradise.

I laugh by myself, lying on the bed, rubbing my body and clitoris with that lovely body oil which I have richly poured on myself.

– You know, body, I may have to bid farewell to you bit by bit! Whether I can take it, or cannot take it. She promised me though, that they will drug me if need be, and give me some time to recover between orgies; some of them have daily businesses to attend to. It's said that if one is high enough by drugs, she can take anything. We may have to find out whether it's true or not, in the late stages of the process.

I cannot resist any longer, I pour the rest in the oil bottle on my genitals and ass, and slowly masturbate, quickly masturbate, furiously masturbate till I reach orgasm. Then masturbate again until I come. And again. And a fourth time. And more times I can keep count on.

Then I sleep like a baby.

In the morning, I look again at my supposed suicide letter:

"Dear Mom and Dad, dear sister Judy and other relatives, and friends, I cannot take that cancer treatment, nor the cancer death. Therefore, I will drown myself into the sea. I love you all. Miriam."

Pathetic enough? I will be supposed to have written it in a moment of great anxiety.

I mail the letter and go to the tourists' fishing boat, whose crew of two men is part of the plan, with a good down payment and with a substantial bonus if all goes well.

We go to the fishing area and place us in a position where there is a tourist boat or a few on our right but none on our left side.

I make a spectacle of myself, for people in the other boats to see. I make some noise, use the fishing rod in the most stupid ways I can imagine, and swim in the sea every once in a while by jumping into it from the gunwale as visibly as I can. All of this mother naked, of course. They are taking photos of the show. I hope they will put them on the net, or stream a video of this crazy naked tourist. I will be in disguise tomorrow, no one will be able to identify me.

Then, the main scene. I prepare for the jump carefully; I want this diving to be perfect. Then I shout as loud as I can

– Farewell, world!

I run to the right hand gunwale while everybody in the other boats are watching, jump high and perform a perfect dive. Underwater, diving to the left side of the boat, I hear stomping as the crew, assumed to be alarmed, run on the deck. On the left side of the hull, where there are no one to see, I climb on the boat, crawl on the deck to the hatch, and hide myself carefully under some blankets etcetera under the deck. On the way, I hear an emergency call being made by the crew: a customer may just have tried to drown herself, please come asap!

Boats, divers, all kinds of hassle, I can hear it through the hull. Hiding myself turns out to be useless, nobody ever looks for me below the deck. Why would they? I clearly committed suicide by drowning myself. The rescuers will be disappointed though: they will never find by body. Such things happen, there are underwater currents on this coast.

After the due formalities, in the darkness of the night, the crew sails to their home peer, and at the right point on course I thank them for the job well done, give them a check for the extra bonus, silently slide into the sea, and swim ashore to a hideout prepared for me.

A good night's sleep, and then I change identity. The false passport arranged for me, a wig, different makeup, business clothing; a businesswoman is leaving the country in a taxi jet. In the charter taxi flight center all goes smoothly.

In the plane there is a surprise: the woman who arranged the deal for me is there.

– Darling, did you have a good holiday?

– It was wonderful, My Lady Mistress. Absolutely fabulous, totally orgastic, more than I ever bargained for!

– Glad to hear that. Then, down to business. About bargains, let me see the flesh we have bought. Take away your clothes! Don't worry about the crew, they have seen everything in these taxi jets.

– Yes of course..., My Lady Mistress, but I find myself aroused, I would like to make love to you, nicely, my last nice sex; in our destination you and them will be punishing me cruelly, won't you?

– Naturally. But today, in this plane, you will be the top. About your body, it's perfect. Cannot wait to see a whip bite into your skin, let alone seeing a branding iron burn into your flesh. Don't worry though, it will be slow. We have sessions scheduled for the duration of two months.

And she undresses, slowly. I realize that I have never seen her quite naked; when she first tested me and then presented me, she always was wearing something. I had seen her genitals of course, but never touched them. Now I would be able to lick them, eat them, bite them!

The stewardess comes to bring us some drinks. She shows no surprise about our nude bodies, but quite openly and lustfully looks at them from top to toe, before serving us. When she is about to leave, My Lady Mistress takes her wrist and asks:

– Wouldn't you join us? Let's make it a lesbian threesome. There will be an extra tip for that.

– Madam, I will gladly join you in a threesome, but I am not a whore. That extra tip won't be necessary. However, while I enjoy women very much sexually, I need male cock when I'm in heat. Let us invite the pilot and co-pilot to join us, to make it five person group sex. Such orgies are quite common during these long taxi flights, and these two guys are well built and durable. The plane will fly steady as she goes with autopilot.

– An excellent suggestion! Do you agree yourself, top woman of the airborne orgy over the ocean?

I nod. And we have a good time for two hours or so. Once we are exhausted, there is still time to our destination.

My Lady Mistress opens her suitcase, and takes some shackles.

– Now let's put this around your neck, these around your wrists, and these around your ankles. And attach your wrists to your neck with a short chain, and put this spreader bar between your legs. But we must turn your seat a bit first..

The stewardess comes to help her to turn the seat, and My Lady Mistress asks for another favor:

- Please help me drag her to the plane lavatory, since she cannot walk with that spreader bar. I want to pee her wet. That piss will dry before our destination, but if the crew has to pee, you must do it into her mouth, and she will swallow the urine. To keep the plane clean.

And here I am, now, lying on the toilet floor all wet with urine, having swallowed some too. I have wiggled and succeeded to find myself a comfortable position despite the spreader bar and my hands attached to my neck.

It really looks like that I am heading to a new adventure, an adventure I will never forget.

I find myself laughing out loud:

Indeed, I will remember the future months as long as I live!