the elder

For the first time all day,
your will is obeyed here on the banks
of Gunpowder River.

You tell your arm to throw a rock
and your arm does as it is told.
You tell the water to splash,
and the water listens.
Rock and water speak your language.

Last night I had that dream again.
The one where I am awake
and trapped inside a sleeping body
that I cannot control.

I tell my self
Wake up!
I try to call out
Someone please help me.
I will my arm to move, to fall from the bed
to do something to wake me up--

But there is no sound,
no movement.
No control.

My mind is trapped inside of a body
that will not obey.

You keep throwing rocks,
with unintelligible yells of
haah or da bi beeem
or splashemmmmm
flapping your arms
boom ah boom a boomeh haha!

Against doctors orders, I allow you
to continue your preservation. Your obsession.

You jump on pointed toes and yell
Happeeee! Happeeee!

I echo your rocks with my own.
They fill the holes in the water
left by your splash.

It makes you laugh

and I say to your smiling face,
Baby, sometimes Mommy has this dream...

~

We walk down the trail in silence
until you run up from behind me,
rocks in both hands.

You look me in the eye
your monotone voice pleads,
Mommy make ah beeg splash pleeze.
Throw rock make ah beeg
splash pleezem!

It is Mother's day along Gunpowder River.
My son shares his desires with words.
I want for nothing.