Cori Tangled skeins

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Day lifted skeins, clouds passing through
My mind, she turned
fluttering pages, tied braided dregs
His mind shut, ajar
Riven with thoughts, misted
in his slowed fears, calmed
Embraced the doubts, shriven
forever. now His, always
her. Burned, bright flames
flickered never shrouded she
flicked eyes. He took
hers and made them whole.

Slowly her smiles, steady her thrusts
into miasmic flounderings, lifted
Out beating heart, Ate
Thrummed beats, cadenced
the toll, inviolate the soul

To be one, melded melding
mutating, moulting, maundering
Joined eternal, coupled, shackled
Bounded wrapt tied staked
impaled - they feasted till sated.

He offered the worlds He was
she held out for souls, finally
fireflies twinked together over
Waters
as diadems across skies.

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  • COMMENTS
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4 Comments
LeBrozLeBrozabout 17 years ago
~~

Seems to be a mix of multiple styles with a dash of alliteration and an odd mix of capitalization thrown in.

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
hi

Your poem has been mentioned in the New Poem Review: http://www.literotica.com:81/forum/showthread.php?p=14145021#post14145021

(already voted the number on the thermometer does not count)

as

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
****

I like this but found the haphazard capitalization distracting. At first I thought it was a Dom talking about another Dom and his sub but then realised it might not be. There's absolutely nothing wrong with leaving the reader wondering, IMO. It's often a positive thing - certainly in this case.

You are one of Lit's secrets, a talent toiling away in relative obscurity, I noticed this.

Tess

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
U R

a master of alliteration in this one..just a sample of style and bliss bordered with gold trim...always like to read your work... you inspire much....bluerains

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