Seven Ch. 01

I can never be prepared enough for J...my wonderful Dom, my love. I swear sometimes things go wrong on purpose, on mornings like today, when I know he will be coming here. A kid missing the bus, a run in my hose...la la la...and oh goodness...look at the clock. He will be here promptly, as always, at 9:10am and I am no where near ready. I am up for the challenge though. Breath...

I always give my 100%, but I feel a bit off today. I think I am nervous...yep that is it. I am a bit overwhelmed. Not by the idea that J is coming here today but because I am to be blindfolded ALREADY...my first time for this. I am completely flustered as I run around the house getting things in order. Even my normal nervous giggle, that so often gets me punished, is missing today.

J has a fancy for details. "Details, my dear...rule #1...you MUST ALWAYS pay attention to details." Wow, have I turned into Miss Details...and let me tell you, this has been difficult for me! I was this divorced single mother of three, hiding her ok body in tank tops and jammie pants. Me, the struggling artist with no zest for anything in life except a hot cup of instant coffee in the morning and frozen pizzas at night. I was a woman who trips over laundry and scrapes paint off the kitchen table and peanut butter off the floors of my falling a part car. Now, I am this Glam Gal, who lines up her lipstick and nail polish on the bathroom shelf and has matching bras, corsets and panties---all colored coordinated in her drawers. I actually look beautiful and always dressed perfectly. I am a classy lady, who now always has not only clean towels, but a clean house and car. I have my own business that is starting to come together perfectly. What a wonderful life I live now. I am beginning to feel like the complete ME. I feel like a Submissive Princess, and all because now, now I am owned by J.

I got my second child on to the school bus and then began my my normal J preparations, as my youngest watched cartoons. I showered...shaving anything and everything as smooth as can be. "If you want to be rewarded and want attention in this area, it must be as smooth as you can possibly get it, do you understand?" I dried my long blond hair quickly and curled it just right. I follow another given rule, as my make up is to be a bit heavy-perfectly drawn jet black eyeliner and dark red lipstick. I giggle to myself. Thank goodness for my artistic skills, as I often feel like I am painting my own picture perfect face. Lipstick in hand, I look down at my clean shaven folds and directly above them write, "9:10"...arrival time. J's favorite Cola was in the fridge and I made sure there were ice cubes in the freezer as one never knows what he will use those for. I lit all the candles in my bedroom. I put three towels on the wooden chair that I now leave in my room. "From now on, there MUST ALWAYS be a chair in here, my darling." My toys were clean and waiting in my nightstand as well as several of J's ties that he had left behind. Those seem to be for different uses at different times. I had moved a big comfy chair in my living room last night. The arms were to be accessible as I was to learn a new position, #3, today. And, of course, their sits another wooden chair in the living room...in the corner. Funny, but when I see that chair, "discipline" is what comes to mind. My occasional brattiness has had me in that corner just a couple times. From the moment I awoke this morning, I had strict orders to drink a full glass of water every half hour until J arrives. Gosh...it hurts already...but I can hold it. According to my given instructions, I was to wear the dark purple corset, thong, garter belt, hose...and of course, heels. Normal protocol is to have that on before I run my youngest son to school.

Well, all looks complete. It is 8:52am and I feel the need to leave J a note on the kitchen counter with the actual time written down. I want him to know, that at this point in time, I already have to go to the bathroom badly. I then threw on a tight black sundress and once again, I am off to school with but twenty minutes to get my son there and back. There better be NO red lights. I follow the line of cars and stop in front of his school, as a volunteer mom comes to the car to help him out. I blew my traditional, "love you" kiss...he blew one back and waved good bye. The lady looked at me very oddly, after noticing my red lips, heavy eye make up and flowing blond locks. Too bad she couldn't see my hose and heels! Darn PTA type moms. It never was hard for most of them to look down on and shun this divorced mom before, but my goodness...was that a look of jealousy??!! I was just about to blow her a kiss good bye as well, as I remembered the pressure-- GOD I HAVE TO PEE. But I will...soon. I will always do my best and there was no way I was going to pee without J's permission. I can't stand disappointing him...that drives me insane. I get out of the car and run into the house, my heels clicking on the cement below me, praying I would not trip and fall. I have but five minutes. I strip of my dress as I run to the computer, load my special J list of songs and then throw the dog into the gated foyer. I barrel around the corner into my bedroom grabbing for the black blind fold and stand in front of my bedroom dresser mirror. I am completely out of breath. "Get used to this mirror, my girl, you will be looking at yourself in it often." I look at myself. This will be the last time I see myself this morning. My hands are shaking. I place the blindfold on, then peak out to see what I look like. I replace it. I can feel the blood rushing through me...I have goosebumps all over my half naked body.

So, here I kneel on the floor at the foot of my bed in position #1. My hands are behind my back grasping each other for strength. I sit up straight with perfect posture, but then I can feel the complete darkness begin to encompass me. I am trying to stay immobile but the waiting is making me jittery with impatience. I can't wait to see him, though I know I won't be actually seeing him. I wonder if he knows this is driving me crazy and how sad I sort of feel for not being able to see him today? I just like SEEING him sometimes. I think he knows how much I love his face. But today is to be about different things. FEELINGS. "This time, you will not be seeing me at all, for the entire time, my dear. I know this disappoints you, but in order to gain complete trust, you must FEEL me at all times. Even when I am not here, you must feel me with you, my presence and trust in me always." Will I actually finally come to terms with FEELING his whole presence? I can only hope, but yet, I know I will. I have so much faith in J and I trust that he will make me understand how it is to always feel him with me. Feel him in me, my body, my heart...now perhaps I will feel him in my soul. Will he also pleasure me sexually again to where I can't breath today? Will I FEEL that too? Unable to see but feel him touching me, inside me, all of his essence? God I hope so. J has the power to push me to places where I never knew existed sexually, simply over the phone or online. Can you fathom how it is to sit and wait here for him to actually be here, in my presence again?! And blindfolded like this? I am so nervous, but shaking with excitement, anxiety, anticipation...wow...I still have to pee but now my pussy is so dripping wet.

My heart is pounding. I can hear my back door open, then door close. I can hear his footsteps. He is coming through the kitchen. His steps are getting louder. He is getting closer. I can smell him...yum. Then I hear a pause...oh no what is wrong? My bedroom door slides open and he quickly points out some mistakes. Darn, he doesn't like notes (taking notes myself on that one). "This fan always needs to be on." Shut, how the heck did the ceiling fan get turned off? It must have been one of the kids, but I will not place blame. I should have double-tripled check this stuff. He grabs my hand and starts to help me stand up.

"Please assume position two."

Position two is standing, facing the wall, palms touching it, fingers outstretched, legs spread, my back arched, with my ass as high in the air as I can get it. I love this position...I feel so sexy. I feel him come up behind me. He adjusts my corset, then slides his hand slowly down my back and adjusts my thong. He begins to rub his hand on my ass, making slow soft circles. I shiver...my eyes close underneath the blindfold. I feel his face come up next mine and feel his warm breath in my right ear. My pussy tingles. He is so close to me. He whispers.

"I am a bit disappointed my dear, you are usually so careful, you seem a bit off today, could you be a bit nervous?"

How does he DO THAT? He knows me so well, and I think he knew I would be flustered and not perfect today. I can hear it in his tone. He almost expected this. I almost feel grateful I can't see his face right now, as I don't think I could tolerate the look of disappointment.

"Well, apparently you do need to use the bathroom, let us get that out of the way, shall we?"

Thank goodness. I ask him politely to use the bathroom and J acknowledged accordingly. Darn...I find it so hot when he stands there watching me and now I can't see him. I know he is there. He is so powerful and charming. I squat, not touching the seat of course, wishing I could gaze into his crystal blue eyes. I had to pee so badly that at first I forgot to recite my Pee Words..."J IS THE BOSS". "From now on, every time you use the bathroom you will recite this phrase. You are to whisper, except in my presence, as then, I want to hear you." He quickly noticed with a stern EH HEM. He is right, I am so out of it. Crap. I am so going to pay.

Back to the bedroom and over the knee I went. I have got to be more careful. CRACK. Damn this hurts! There is no way I am messing anything else up today. CRACK. Ouch, tears are swelling up. Laying over him like that, you know, sometimes I think I am bratty on purpose. I do know what to expect. He is going to let me lay across him like that. I will feel his hand rub me, squeeze the tender skin on my thighs, run his finger up the crack in my ass and then slide it inside my aching pussy as to calm me before the storm. I relax and get so moist knowing he owns me...J owns my pussy. I love his touch and being so submissive to him. CRACK, CRACK, CRACK, CRACK. Shit, I forgot how much this stings! CRACK. CRACK. Wait this HURTS. This is different, new, needle-like burning pain...I feel the tears dripping. Was that a paddle? My...J IS THE BOSS. J owns me. Yes...he owns my pussy and he definitely owns my stinging, bright red ass. Thank goodness that is over. I feel like so ashamed and sad. I hate disappointing him. I truly hate it. Ugh.

He helps me up and then says he needs to make a few phone calls, so he gently lays me on the bed, on my back and places my favorite vibrator in my left hand. Rule # something on the list of many, is that when he places or receives phone calls, I masturbate. J knows exactly how I do this, even what hand I will use. I love how he knows me so well. I know the man on the other end of the phone has got to hear the humming and my moaning. What could he be thinking? But of course, what am I thinking, because that simple thought, plus masturbating like this turns ME on so much. Those thoughts alone encourage me to get to work harder! I wonder if I will ever end up cumming while he does this?? Hmmm...VERY erotic thought. I begin to feel like I am getting very close to doing that today. I am still blindfolded, listening to J's sensual, deep voice...the voice that melts me. I can hear the buzzing of my gold magic wand. Ooooooo...I feel so warm, so wet. Ahhhhhh. I push my fingers inside me while my clit starts throbbing from the feel of the vibrations. I must feel it more. I slide the hard shaft between my lips and push it deep inside me. Slowly I begin to guide it in and out. I can't help but use my other hand to start rubbing my clit. Rubbing it... harder, faster. I can hear J's voice, not sure what it is saying or if it is all in my head. "Work for me darling...work for J." I begin to move my hips and start fucking the vibrator, faster, harder, deeper...I am aching to cum. I start to mumble the words, asking for permission. I so need to cum.

SNAP... the cellphone closed.

He took my vibrator from me and pulled my legs sliding me to the bed's edge. I listen carefully to his words. "Today, might I remind you, is about feeling, my dear. I know you have a difficult time cumming like this, but for me, today you are going to let go. Let it all out and feel me. You know how special this is to me and I want you to understand that this a gift. A gift so you will know in your heart how precious you are to me, and how I am always with you." My heart started pounding, I know exactly what is going to happen. I have always had this big hang up about cumming from oral sex and last week, for the first time in my life, J made me cum, and in his mouth, that way. I actually cried from that powerful release, and he held me like I had never been held before. It is such an intimate thing for me and nothing I could ever give up before. No man seemed worthy enough. No man treated me decent enough to where I could just let go and give that up to them. It was something that I hung on to for over a decade. No man deserved that...until J. That, is a testimony to how much I love and trust in him.

I can feel his fingers slip inside me...one...two...oooooo...three. Twisting and playing with me. His tongue flicks at my clit and I can feel it swell...harden. My juices are pouring all over his face, as his tongue slides up and down in my creases. He is licking me up, tasting my pleasure. His tongue thrusts inside me, teasing my wanting hole. I can feel his beard scruff my tender skin and oh how that feels so amazing. I can't see, I so desperately want to see. I want to look down and see his head between my legs and those blue eyes looking up at me, gleaming from satisfying me. But I can remember. I clench my fists gripping onto the comforter for dear life. My legs are beginning to shake...oh...oh...I feel like I am floating...aching to cum. He pulls one finger out of my pussy and slides in deep into my ass. GOD he knows I LOVE that. It feels incredible...so awesome that my back arches and I grab on to the comforter tighter, using it to pull myself forward... forcing my pussy harder into his face and his fingers deeper into all of me. I can feel his fingers touching every part of my inner walls...his mouth suckling on my clit. I start to tremble as he knows, finds and rubs the sweetest spot inside my needy pussy. I am groaning and my body is shuttering from pure ecstasy. I can't take it...I am now begging for J to please let me to cum. Please, oh please let me cum for you. Please, I beg of you, J, I can't take it ...PLEASE J MAY I CUM FOR YOU??!!

"Cum...cum my baby...CUM."

I needed those words. "Thank you" barely slid out of my lips...and I let go...I let go like I never have. My body twisting, turning, stretching, curling up. Mind blowing moaning noises escape from my lips. Oh no... here come the tears again...I feel like Miss Sensitive...but I can't help it. I am panting, I can hardly breathe. BREATH. It felt so damn amazing. The nerves in my toes are tingling. God almighty...where has this man been all my life?! BREATH damn it. Wow...wow. Wow. With that, thought I giggled in delight. Whoopsie. But then I could hear J laugh back with me. I still can't see him, but I can feel his smile. I can feel his happiness. I can feel his pride. I can feel his entity, his entire presence in the room, but more so...within me.

Wow...I understand now.

I can FEEL him. I feel him in my heart, my body, my mind, and NOW my soul. I have a man, an owner, a human being like no other. I feel so lucky that I have no words to really explain it. I am blessed. Truly blessed. I smile. ONE.

Thank you J...my love.