Decisions

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209 words
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I was sitting here, alone in the dark
my heart heavy not seeing a spark.
Love had gone and left me this way
no longer able to come out and play.

Pity and sorrow reigned all my life
no longer he cared for the love of his wife.
Sitting alone a moment in time
wanting to end this life that was mine.

Taking a moment and looking inside
seeing the woman he's forced to hide.
Pushing and shoving, breaking away
no longer happy with the tears of the day.

Freeing myself from my sad little world
holding to passion, coming unfurled.
Taking the time and easing the pain
no longer the prisoner of words he had slain.

Grasping the handle of a door locked tight
gauging the moment to take off in flight.
Hoping for dreams of a lover's soft kiss
looking for someone to grant me this wish.

Trying the lock, turning the key
freeing the love that was inside of me.
Taking the hand of a friend passing by
knowing the moment of bliss, so sublime.

Walking away, and not looking back
leaving the sadness and the heart that was black.
Seeing the future stretched out long and white
loving the beauty held in my sight.

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6 Comments
WickedEveWickedEveover 18 years ago
As far as rhyme goes,

the two near rhymes aren't that bad. By and sublime really don't work. Some near rhymes can work. With this subject matter, the poem would be stronger if you didn't rhyme, or if you tried a more complex rhyme scheme, or a form like a villanelle. Just suggestions. :)

ReltneReltneover 18 years ago
To Rhyme or not??

It is the poet's choice about whether to rhyme or not, but once you start you should stick with it!

You chose an AABB rhyme scheme, but:

"time" & "mine" do not rhyme, nor do

"kiss" & "wish"

nor

"by" & "sublime"

Sorry, While the theme is worthwhile, for a rhyming poem this one is structurally below average.

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
~I~

Your poem was mentioned in the new poems review thread.

Tess

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
So dark, so sad, and yet . .

So full of hope. Dream on. Thank You. Ronnie W.

LeBrozLeBrozover 18 years ago
~~

Super!

One of your best yet!

And worked up to such an end of promise.

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