Trainspotting And A Girl

Poem Info
42 words
4.5
4k
0
Poem does not have any tags
Share this Poem

Font Size

Default Font Size

Font Spacing

Default Font Spacing

Font Face

Default Font Face

Reading Theme

Default Theme (White)
You need to Log In or Sign Up to have your customization saved in your Literotica profile.
PUBLIC BETA

Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.

You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.

Click here
Liar
Liar
59 Followers

Local transit at night,
every town puddle of random lights
greets the weary to open eyes.

Passing by,
they roll across her face
cling to her doe eyed fancy,
polished coat buttons
and lip gloss,

but leave me, unstuck
these days.

Liar
Liar
59 Followers
Please rate this poem
The author would appreciate your feedback.
  • COMMENTS
Anonymous
Our Comments Policy is available in the Lit FAQ
Post as:
Anonymous
2 Comments
TzaraTzaraover 17 years ago
I had to look up "trainspotting"

because the little I know about the book and movie just confused me. I liked the general feeling this poem evokes--the dreamy images seem appropriate for a weary worker taking the train home.

I do find the exposition a little muddy, though that may just be me. My take is that the narrator is on a commuter train, going home in the evening and passes a station where a girl (the "trainspotter"?) is standing, watching the train go by.

I interpret the third line as meaning something like "each town's lights evoke enough interest in the tired traveller so that he opens his eyes as he passes through", which then carries over to the next S, where his (or her, I suppose) eyes "roll across" the girl on the platform.

The ending is a bit of a puzzle. "Unstuck" makes me think of Slaughterhouse-Five, where Vonnegut uses it to talk about a character who gets "unstuck in time", drifing back and forth from present to future to past. That kind of makes sense in context--the image of the girl causing the mind of the traveller to wander or reminisce. Is that what you meant?

Interesting and dreamy little poem.

Lauren HyndeLauren Hyndeover 17 years ago
puddle of random lights

I enjoy the tone of this poem. There's a certain nostalgia in it, or is it that weariness one feels on near-empty trains at the end of the day?

I'm not sure about the meaning of the 3rd line, having some trouble reconciling the various words into an interpretation that makes sense for all. Is the weary weary of the watching (open) eyes of others? Is the weary simply weary and it's the greet that is to open eyes - and in this case, is greet the right verb?

I also don't think the ending is as strong as it could be. "Unstuck" makes me pause to try to figure out what exactly are you trying to say, and the line break there doesn't help the cause either...

Share this Poem