- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Car Accidents Aren't so Bad
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No one saw that car coming,
Not even me and I was the one driving.
He came out of seemingly nowhere,
Slamming into your side of the car.
Your screams rang in my ears,
I could hear you, even as my own,
Held the echo of crunching metal,
The breaking glass.
Then came the ambulence sirens,
A noise that made me cry,
It meant help was coming, my dear,
For you, only for you!
I watched as they got what,
Was known as the Jaws of Life,
They preceeded to cut you out of the,
Scrap that used to be a nice car.
I came out of my shocked state,
And got out on my own.
A few cuts and scrapes,
"Don't worry baby, you'll be alright,"
I whisper in your ear.
You moan something unintelligable,
Clearly in pain from the blow.
"I love you, honey, just hang on,"
I repeat over and over to you,
On our fast ride across town,
In the ambulance.
As we arrive, the medics jump out,
More rush out to help.
"It can't be that serious."
I repeat over and over in my head.
They rush you inside,
Faster than I can keep up.
I panic and scream at them for
taking my wife away from me.
"Don't die baby, dont die!"
An hour later I'm all patched up,
The cuts mended, scratches disinfected.
They let me in to see you.
To my relief your sitting up,
Seemingly alright.
The doctor walks in and sits on the edge of the bed,
Your eyes open up with fear,
As do mine when she sighs before she begins.
I have some news to tell you."
I feel like im about to faint.
Your look just scares me all the more.
Then to our astonishment, she utters out two words...
"You're pregnant!"
- COMMENTS
KOLKOREover 17 years agoDespite the seemingly cruel, chancy aspects of our lives when we triumph, I believe it belongs to us. It comes across in your story. It reminds me of a recent film, (I believe it was “Accidents”, but I am not sure). It explores a similar concept. Namely, life contains daily unpredictable coincidences, many of which carry life transforming power over us. They can also expose the ugliest as well as the noblest sides of us. The existence of some could not have been suspected up to that moment (including the exposed person). Those transformations come especially as a result of the random interactions between people (some are called accidents).
Interestingly, the film, which exposed a lot of human hypocrisy; hate and frailty, also showed optimism; strength and compassion. One of the latter positive developments was also an outcome of a terrible car accident…
Regarding the writing style, I agree with the comment of Le Broz It’s more of a prose, where the sentences are broken between the lines. But I mention it only to convey that whatever section your submission appears on, it does not make much of a difference to me.
duddle146over 17 years agoThis little rendering at first appears grim and foreboding. At the end the surprise is delightful. I love a happy ending.
LeBrozover 17 years agoWonderful prose piece with the sort of surprise ending that I especially like;
A piece this good deserves some better editing:
Punctuation and word usage need be flawless,
Poetry's less forgiving than short stories. I sense you can put out a more polished product ~ you've already got the requisite imagination!
