Half the Girl I Used To Be: Part II

You tell me I’m beautiful.
That I’m sweetest, kindest, nicest woman you’ll ever know.
I shudder and look away.
And you think that it’s because I’m shy.

I hate you, and your ugly words.
Always reminding me that I’m half the girl I used to be.

You think I’m so perfect.
Calm and quiet like a mouse
The perfect complement to your wild, wandering soul
I’ll curb your impulsive ways.

You only know half my mind.
You don’t see me.

You tell me I’m good for you.
That I was made for you
And you for me,
And that you’ll show me your world.

You don’t see my half glances or my half smiles
Or hear the half lies that I tell you.

You think you can fly high,
And not worry about the sun searing off your wings,
Because you’ll crash into me to break your fall.
I hope you break your neck.

Am I so perfectly stable?
Am I the immovable rock that keeps you grounded?

You think that I’ll always be here
For you to lean on,
To sit on,
And shit your lovely words on.

You wrap me in your coat.
Treat me like I’m precious china.

I’m not a plate to be polished and admired.
I don’t want to be your fuckin’ rock.
I’ve only half a soul left to steal.
Then I’ll be your empty shell.

You’re afraid I’ll break.
So you push gently at my limits.

I want you to slap me. Spank me. Abuse me.
Anything but your gentle, pitiful smiles.
I want to fuck you, and then discard you.
Another nice guy finishing last.

You think I’m in love with you?
That I melt like warm honey at your slightest touch?

I want you to fuck me and fantasize that I’m someone else.
I want you to stroke your cock, instead of my cheeks.
Whisper dirty words in my ear.
And never tell me that you love me.

Call me your nasty slut.
Tell me you want to fuck my best friend.

When we’re walking together
And she’s beside me,
You look at her ass, lips, and breasts.
And fuck her with your hungry eyes.

Then you turn to me, and pinch my nose.
And smile like you love me.