Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click hereMy breathing is fast
My hips shake with your pressure
My bliss is building
I will comment and hope that you can receive my comment positively. Offered to help you write better. In this the repeated use of the personal pronoun "my" weakens the poem. Try it without the personal pronoun - I know it's not haiku if you do that but if you drop the "my" you can see that the poem has much more power.