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- Erotic Poetry
- Sex haiku pt 2
Poem Info
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Click hereMy breathing is fast
My hips shake with your pressure
My bliss is building
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1 Comments
zammalmost 7 years agook
I will comment and hope that you can receive my comment positively. Offered to help you write better. In this the repeated use of the personal pronoun "my" weakens the poem. Try it without the personal pronoun - I know it's not haiku if you do that but if you drop the "my" you can see that the poem has much more power.
