Shame

Sitting alone in the room
Wondering when You will pass
Measured footsteps I no longer hear
Hands I shall no longer feel

I close my eyes and try to
Bring You back to me
Moving trembling fingers
Caressing them upon cool skin

Nipples hardening under my touch
Craving for You to see
For they are alive for You
If only in a memory

Roused by Your voice
Carried by the wind
Legs parting naturally
As You gaze from within

My fingers graze lightly
Over my quivering flesh
Wanting so much
Yet knowing it isn't to be

I cry out in anger
Masked with sadness
As I will myself in fury
Pushing myself to the end

Thrusting and rubbing
A renewed hand
Craving to see You
Wanting You to prevent me

Fevered fingers dance
Causing me to pitch and writhe
Growling in lust and anger
Stop me, silence me with a word

Shuddering without release
As my shame spills
In a torrent of the past
Exhausted in my lust

Whispering a Name
Smiling in recognition and Love
Pondering the future
In the arms of Another.

November 7th, 2006