- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Sunflowers
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See the girls with sunflower faces,
Pretty faces every one,
Hustling, bustling, jostling, tussling,
Seeking seconds in the sun.
All the girls with sunflower faces
Stretch on tip toe to receive
Sun-soft kisses, warm embraces,
Lost in summer's make-believe.
Watch them pass old women, stooping
In their huddles, bruised and brusque,
Life-defeated, faces drooping,
Like fields of sunflowers after dusk.
- COMMENTS
KOLKOREabout 16 years agodo not seem to me more older looking than during the day, but the whole image in the poem was intriguing. For the older women I would have tried the same sunflowers after they produce the seeds... their look than fits perfectly to the image I believe you were trying to portray (and parallel in the way of nature of course).
UnderYourSpellabout 16 years agoIt was probably the sun worshipping that played havoc with the older ladies skin!
Angelineabout 16 years agoof flowers for women--bright and reaching for the Sun in youth and drooping and huddled in age. I'm not normally a fan of the sort of simple rhyme scheme you're using here, but you've done it with such a light touch that the poem doesn't seem childish or sing-songy. It feels just right, and I've really enjoyed reading it. Your poem has been recommended in the New Poems Review thread on Literotica's Poetry Feedback and Discussion forum.
