- Non-Erotic Poetry
- The Honeybees of Karma
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Collecting karma is akin to holding
water in your palm. It is inevitably spent
as fast as earned. The guy you cut off in traffic,
the waitress you didn't tip because she flirted
with your man, bad thoughts about the boss.
The register reads empty if not negative
for those (most) people, membership not required.
I signed up for a card
when I took the danger –job
and started collecting points. I gave away
the seats on the train, believed the innocent best
about the homeless guy's intentions
with either me or my wallet.
I must admit, I was saving it up for the big prize;
I was saving them up for you.
You smile and nod at my moshpit idea
of Aeroplan Jesus
and Scratch and Win Shiva,
keeping your Love and Peace
ace in the hole. The Spirit of the 60's
may live on in a green-smoky haze,
but my honeybees of karma
will fly you home.
for Tz., so glad you're back.
- COMMENTS
Anonymousover 15 years agothe first three lines are good, maybe could be better? I don't know. 1201 seems sure of himself there and I usually trust his judgment on those things.
I like the entire idea of the poem but there are a few words here and there which could be tossed and strengthen the poem. BUT you have better advisers than me. I enjoyed reading it-
NJ
twelveoonealmost 16 years agosomeone else decided to comment, it is well worth the comments- there should be more on this one. I stand by mine though. And the score (which will now be erased, because of the double post)
LeBrozalmost 16 years agoI think that rather than call the opening preachy I'd say it's more descriptive, painting an image for the reader to move forward with. But the ending is positively smashing!
Tzaraalmost 16 years agoI like the water in the palm image quite a bit, in fact-- but I am, of course, biased. Lovely poem and sentiment, Ms. Lucas.
twelveoonealmost 16 years agono comments on this. The first stanza is weak, starting off on a preachy note, but the last stanza starts to rock.
