How to Spot Arousal in a Woman

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Can you tell when a woman is REALLY aroused?
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Selena_Kitt
Selena_Kitt
5,714 Followers

I have extremely temperature-sensitive nipples. A slight breeze blows by and the girls stand up like doggies begging for bacon treats. Which invariably makes Mr. Kitt's eyes light up. Every single time. I could have been shivering on the deck of the Titanic and he would have noticed my nipples getting hard in the cold. Seriously.

My inner comedy stage sports a bewildered Seinfeld: "What is up with that?!"

Look, I know there's some association between hard nipples and arousal and all... and yes, my nipples get hard when they're played with and sucked. But in public? You guys... if I'm out in public, my nipples get hard from temperature change, not arousal. If they're not being directly stimulated by, say, rubbing against my shirt or bra for some reason, there's just no nipple action going on. I don't think my nipples have ever perked up because I was turned on by some guy checking me out. But why is it I get the feeling the guy in the other booth just wouldn't believe that?

To quote Mandy Patinkin from Princess Bride, "I do not think it means what you think it means!"

As a woman, I'm much more subtle about my arousal than men. I don't have to worry about a hard penis popping up to say hello when I see something that makes me feel a little randy (or just because I bite into a peach or something...) And when my nipples get hard in public, it's usually a physical response that has little to do with arousal. (Really, guys. I swear.) If I get a little wet, no one's going to notice except me.

Arousal, though, is something men seem to want to be able to gauge concretely in women. They like to see the hard nipples - physical proof! Loud moaning (or even screaming) orgasmic bliss is welcome - she really likes it! And the ultimate proof, of course, is the squirt. There are thousands of web sites devoted to the subject. Except... I hate to break it to you... most of those cases (at least, on screen) are as fake as Sally moaning and slapping the table across from Harry in that infamous diner where everyone wanted what "she was having."

Not that women don't squirt. They do. But the important thing is to be able to differentiate between real arousal and wishful thinking. The reality is that hard nipples don't always mean we want sex. And if I were you, I'd double check that scream she let out during sex - was it actually in response to the pummeling of your cock or because she got a charley horse or was it just that you were leaning on her hair?

And the squirting thing? Women do not have gallons of water in their vaginas waiting to be released. Do some women actually "squirt" during sex? Yes. Is it the bucketfuls portrayed in most porn nowadays? No.

So if you're looking for a "sure sign" of arousal from a woman... you're not going to find it. I'm sorry, guys, but that mythical Holy Grail just doesn't exist. Every woman is different, and every "sign" that she's aroused is going to be different. You can't tell by looking -- women aren't puppies who can be picked up, turned over, and easily identified. Men are, of course, more obvious in their physical response to arousal, and while sometimes I think you guys would love it if we women "were more like guys" in that way -- but honestly, I think you like us just the way we are.

I'm going to tell you the secret to knowing if a woman is aroused -- the secret is, you can't tell. Not unless she wants you to know. That's the beauty of the feminine. She's fickle that way. It might be the nipples getting hard, or the hidden dampness of her panties, or even the light in her eyes when you whisper something naughty in her ear. But then again, it might not. And there's a reason for this -- women want you to pay attention. They don't want it to be the same every time.

Women's genitals are tucked away, like a sweet secret waiting to be uncovered. As a woman I was made to be discovered, explored, and unveiled, one layer at a time. I want you to pay attention, to really listen, to feel into me, through me, and then respond. Women aren't mathematical equations to be solved or figured out. We're mysteries. I like being a mystery. I'm a mystery, sometimes, even to myself... so rest assured, the "sure signs" you may be looking for may not mean what you think they mean.

Except when they do...

Selena_Kitt
Selena_Kitt
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AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 years ago

Ladies don't make it easy for us men. You really don't. The problem is that you think that we're mind readers: we're not. We don't think on the same wavelength that women do, but too many women think that we should just "get" them. You're doing both yourselves and your man a disservice with that way of thinking. After all, if you're not even sure what it is that you want, how in the hell are we supposed to figure it out? Men and women are different, and think differently. Do yourself and your man a favor by understanding that.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 3 years ago
So mysterious...

I’m confident that I can see this author’s effort to be mysterious probably includes a tattoo in a foreign script or symbol that is not part of her heritage...

AnonymousAnonymousover 3 years ago

35 years of marriage and I'm still trying to figure it all out. It keeps changing.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
How I spot arousal in a woman specialy with my woman and a few of her friends

First let start out admitting that I myself can not keep my fingers and my tongue off my nipples. Nothing to me feels so wonderful first thing after waking up each morning laying in bed cock as hard as brick and my nipples the way they tingle hot and looking down at them they are hot and erect. I gently run my fingers across them and it starts and last for times up to 8-10 hours of nipple orgasim and hell of a orgasim when they feel my tongue.

Now how I can tell if and when my bed partner (wife) along with few of her friends are aroused. I myself along with my partner and her friends are not shy. We have an agreement that whenever you feel aroused get out one of the camping matress or sit on the couch or even the floor and enjoy yourself showing taking care of the arousal. Now if we are alone I will either be sitting around nude and make sure she is near by and able to see all knowing that she will get aroused sooner. I know when she starts getting aroused and know in two ways. First be her nipples she is like me loves to put on a show while as she works up to full arousal and granted yes all women are different but most if aroused their nipples start to get full and as they are doing their thing also another way I can tell when the women I know getting aroused is by looking and watching the areola starts getting darker as the nipples get more and more erect. Also if she and or friends unlike me likes to start out pleasuring myself and others total nude. The women start out in sheer see thru panties and sheer see thru bra. I also watch their pussy looking for the swelling of the lips and the clit as it starts to get erect and hard. None of this will happen if she not aroused and I have learned to tell when most women are faking their orgasim and funny it may seem to most is that most men have no clue if she is faking and I mean totally clueless how to tell for he he is only getting it due to fact to shut him up and to stop is grinding hunching like a dog in heat with his hard cock she so in order for this to happen she pretends to either aroused or working up to it.Most women if not aroused or not in the mood well her nipples not as aroused she been rubbing pinching licking trying like. hell to maybe get semi hard. Her pussy only wet because of her wet fingers but not as wet as usual and knowing her mate has no clue she is faking. Like I said early on me and my partner ( wife ) if her friends would like to join in and if not welcome to watch like a few have tried to just watch but after 15-30 min they be slow undress as they rub their nips and the agreement and the agreement must be signed is I do not will not touch them at all and they will not touch me in anyway matter of fact they/me have to be no closer than 25 feet. Now if My wife and her friends want to do things with each that's ok but everyone must be where all can see. So Again how I can tell when woman is aroused is by watching her pussy wetness,swelling,clit swelling/dripping,all between her legs very wet, also the areola around the nipples usually with most women gets darker and it too may swell some.

sinstalkersinstalkerabout 8 years ago
Misleading?....

There are ways to tell if your woman is aroused I think the author is saying you can't just look at a woman and tell but in the act of being intimate there are many signs some obvious some not so obvious but they're there just the same and I agree different with each woman. The only woman you really need to worry about being aroused is the one you are with at the moment. The worst sign is her voice lol they will try and fake it if you don't know better so learn better! Casual sex will never be your best sex it takes a few trips to the gates of heaven to gain access. Meaning you can't learn a woman's body, likes, dislikes and so on in a few hours. Not saying it won't be satisfying it just won't be the mind blowing experience you hear about. a lot of men should realize if you take the time to learn the signs what you are doing is getting to her you will get paid back in spades. All women are different! But all will show signs if you take the time to notice! I'm no expert I do have a fetish of watching a woman lose control during intimacy therefore I work really really hard to make sure what I'm doing she likes and loses control so I get what I want from the experience too course she loves it because she is with a man trying really hard to please her and make her lose control this turns into great sex and usually them wanting more. I have never ever had a one night stand and don't want to that's not great sex same with a quickie I just don't do them lol I need time to make it great for both of us so do you. Concentrate on getting her off and believe me you won't have to worry about you getting off she will love you for it and you WILL have some mind blowing sex. Just my two cents thanx for the read!

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