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Click hereThey call me Witch Hazel
Because I sting.
Ooh, Baby,
I know how to sting.
Half the price
Of psychobabble,
And twice
As fucking good!
Hey, Joe, give me a beer
And one for my buddy
Sitting here.
Now tell me, Pal,
What other whore
Buys you a beer?
Look at that head,
Makes me hot,
Ya know what I mean?
I know how to handle
All irritations
And whatever
Witch Hazel labels say,
I don’t avoid swallowing,
Know what I mean?
I keep out reach
From all the children
And if your condition
Starts to worsen,
Don’t see a doctor,
Come see about me.
All the boys at Bailey’s bar
Know me well.
There they are.
I can read their lips:
“Bet she’s likes it.”
“Nah, she doesn’t.”
“Yes, she does.”
“Nah, she doesn’t.”
Yeah, I like it.
Hey there, baby.
I’m as clean as it comes.
Hah! Silly me!
Here I am
Cuming again.
Makes me hot,
Know what I mean?
They call me Witch Hazel
Because I sting.
Ooh, Baby,
I know how to sting.
although I don't think it is as well-constructed as your other submission today. There's a lot about it that's really good--some great ironic lines and twisty--funny sex metaphors. That is very good, indeed, because it's hard to write anything erotic in poetry and hit the right note, but your tone works well and is consistent across the poem. Otoh, I think there's stuff that can come out because it isn't really adding anything to the poem, and I don't get the comparison of witch hazel as a better alternative to therapy. Maybe that's a cultural reference of some kind that I'm missing, just my opinon. I hope to read more of you though; you have talent. :-)