Our Lady of Inverness

(The following balladic poem was written as a collaborative effort with poet Redwave. He has posted a version of this same poem entitled "Inverness" with a different conclusion. Please enjoy both.)

I met a girl in Inverness
Whose eyes were shining free
And every move that she did make
Said she wanted me.

I rushed to meet her at the pool
Where fate and gladness meet,
But little did I realize then
The glory of her treat.

Her eyes were wild, her hair was free,
Her fingers came trailing down.
She took me to the highest heights,
Then dashed me to the ground.

The kiss of life was on her lips.
Her honeypot's sweet ooze,
But there was another card to play
That I was forced to choose.

"I've been kissed by many a boy
And dreams I've had each day,
But a virgin it is before you stands
And that I wish to stay."

I felt my ardor lose its ground
And quick, she added still,
"My maidenhead today remains
But you can have your fill."

I wondered at the turn of phrase
As she peeled down her top
And pushed me to a darkened room
Behind the garden shop.

Her breasts were free to covet now
While she knelt down on grass.
"It's mouth or tits you'll tease today
And then you'll have my ass!"

Down on her knees, she kissed my staff
Her primal need to suck
And I was near beside myself
At such a stroke of luck.

I watched her head bob on my cock.
Enjoyed each slurping sound,
But my eyes widened with delight
When she said "Turn around!"

"Yeah, I eat butt," she lewdly said,
"I'm such a naughty girl."
Then I leaned forward with a smile
As she did her tongue swirl.

"It's time to pay the piper, love."
She sat down on the grass.
She pulled her bottoms off her feet
And gently rubbed her ass.

Her smile curled at its corner,
Her gaze was burning bright
As knees spread wide before me,
I shivered at the sight.

A rose of delicious portion
Bloomed right before my eyes.
Licking my lips and laying prone,
I measured her for size.

A virginal passage, to be sure
Tight as a baby's bum.
Before the day was put to rest,
I planned to get me some.

Handfulls of cheek were grabbed
As I pushed my tongue inside.
"Oh, gently lover, make this last!"
This stirred my swelling pride.

Every scale of learned tongue
Was played in every key.
Her hips began to buck in time.
She cried out, "Lucky me!"

My head was grabbed and pushed against
Those lips so slick with juice.
Once, twice, thrice she came
Then beckoned for more abuse.

Panting, she rolled over
On elbows and knees she rose.
Then, glancing over her shoulder,
She crooked her fingers and toes.

"Fuck my ass with steely lance,
But careful with your pole.
Your good reward's my butt today,
The other's a forbidden hole."

I smiled and knee-walked forward.
She sighed as I lubed her keen.
Then grunted loudly with hands on hips
As I plunged my cock in clean.

A wonderous grip she had on me,
Squeezing my delighted length.
Surprised I was at talent so sweet.
I'd never guessed her strength.

Out of control, I was at first
And thought I'd met my match,
But I regained my wits and thought,
A delicate plot I'd hatch.

I pulled my wand from out her cave.
She gasped to feel it go.
Since I can go both ways myself,
That gaping hole I know.

It was my turn to kiss her ass.
I licked her puckered hole.
I drooled and slobbered all over it
While stroking my own pole.

And then, probing with my fingers
I played with her pussy.
Between my tongue and probing hand,
She was in ecstasy.

Then, I slammed her twat with cock
And blood came spurting out.
To me it felt really great,
But she began to shout,

"You've ruined me, you lousy bastard!
No man will marry me
For now I won't be able to
Bleed for him-- ah, misery!"

"Bastard, am I?" I shouted back,
Continuing to hump and thrust.
I noticed she didn't try to stop
As blood turned to crust.

Panting, she swatted my sweaty hands
That gripped her hips so tight.
Was it complaints they showered down
Or whips to do her right?

"I'm ruined, you savage, beautiful boy.
You've taken my girlish prize.
But ride me to the finish line,
Ecstasy's on the rise."

As many a girl could tell you straight,
I've granted their every wish.
A genie in bed they'd call me when
My hips danced like a fish.

But something grew within so bright
My eyes began to weep.
As this girl's lips so cherished me,
I drove in straight and deep.

A wondrous meter rang my ears
So pleasurable the peel
That I began to sing aloud,
My mind began to reel.

Heaven opened above us and
The Angels flew right down.
Beating white wings against us free,
her, they placed a crown.

"Oh, divine Titania Queen,
This boy, he knows not.
What wondrous plunder he has found.
What pleasure he hath wrought."

"Fly my minions, deliver me pure
After this Earthly grace.
Once more, boom the cannons hence
As you leave our lusting place."

The sky rang closed above our heads
And thunder rang below.
I wondered what would happen now
At the end of this, our show?

The room began to loudly quake,
My mind spun round and round.
My loins shook. My balls blew up.
And jetstreams commenced to pound.

A wondrous Holy orgasm lit
Bright glow where we connect.
I couldn't stop for sake of me
This righteous genuflect.

I blacked out quite delightedly
And fell on sticky grass.
Pleasure filled my mind and heart.
I hoped it'd never pass.

Awakened the next morning alone,
I inspected my meaty snake
And found it rimmed with writing.
"What's that, for God's sake?!"

Difficult it was to read it then
The twisted rod was small,
But damned if it didn't tell me true
What wonder did befall.

It seems this maid of Inverness
Was Holy through and through
And upon my flesh, the writing read
"Saintly Cock of the Screw."