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Click hereI would find her clothes
scattered on the floor, sometimes
perched on a chair or dresser
like a skylark, singing
of its nervous Spring love,
and I thought of Shelley and
hisblithe spirit and how
she always was fielding my love
like it was a softball, popped
easily into the outfield
but carelessly dropped,
so that runs and runs and runs
scored against me
while, artfully, she laughed.
Survivor Poetry Contest
Trigger 12, Poet's Choice (Free Verse)
I think the clothing/skylark simile is poorly considered, forced and unnatural. Otherwise, I think the poem was well-executed. Again, I find your voice light and unobtrusive, easy to like.
I liked the poem as an entity, I accept the skylark thread as surreal, but I don't really like the title. Maybe the title is part of the contest.
your use of metaphor is wonderfully executed-- this poem, simply perfect. My heart aches.
I scored this a full 100 but I find it hard to see the connection between discarded clothing and skylark singing. Having said that I did like this, well, enough to give it 100.