My First Time

I looked at myself in the mirror for what felt like a lifetime before finally emerging, joining him on the bed. I kissed him deeply, in a way I never dared kissed anyone. It was breathtaking, but the words still managed to escape my lips, barely.

"I want you," I whispered as my tongue gently licked at his ear. "I want you to make love to me."

There was a time I thought it would happen for me differently. I thought it might be more...romantic. But that was a lifetime ago, when I was just a boy. That was before I embraced who I really was. That was before I became Michelle for the rest of my life.

The final surgery was 9 months ago, the one that made that last part of me, that part of me that felt wrong finally match who I've always known I was on the inside. Still, I was too shy to really...explore, I suppose. Sure, I loved being a girl, I loved living this new life, but after spending 22 years of boyhood in denial, I didn't have that much confidence in being a "real" woman. Don't get me wrong, every glance I got from a guy made me feel better about myself, made me feel more girly, so to speak. But I still wasn't entirely sure if I was gay or straight, or if those words were just labels. As a boy, I was attracted to girls, that was easy, but sometimes part of me could see something in guys too, though it was only certain guys, or maybe it was just certain...qualities...that I could see that could create that warm, bubbly feeling of attraction. But I was always so afraid to pursue that feeling, not knowing where it would lead. Since becoming Michelle, this curiosity only became stronger and I just couldn't ignore it any more. And now it was happening so quickly. It was only after a few drinks, only after a half hour of chit chat that turned into flirting that turned into a kiss that turned into a loft. I didn't know why him or why now, why tonight, or why I took this chance. I didn't know why I went up the elevator with him, or why it made me feel good feeling him get hard against me. I didn't know why it felt right, or why it was so hot, or why I brought condoms. I really didn't expect this to happen, but then again, part of me honestly wanted it so badly. I wanted to have sex with this guy. God help me, I just needed to know what it was like.

I let the straps of my dress fall off my shoulders. I let his hands travel my body. His lips meeting my neck, then my collarbone, then my breasts, kissing, caressing, nibbling, until those lips of his passed my navel. I felt his warm breath against my womanhood; he was kissing it so passionately through my panties. He slid them off, then he teased me with his tongue, kissing, biting my inner thighs before finally answering my lustful prayers. I felt each sensual tongue lick across every fold of my pussy, sending me closer and closer to my first real orgasm. I had never felt anything like it, even when I was by myself for the first time, when I first got wet, when I found my female orgasm, it wasn't anything as overpowering and moving and soul-shattering and completing as this. Never when I was a boy did I ever feel anything that felt this...good.

"I...god...I think I'm... ready," I moaned between breaths. My clit was in agony, but my whole body was dying for him to take me. And slowly, but forcefully, he did. Each inch at a time, until the pain briefly subsided, until I could tell he was completely and utterly inside me. Then I felt him withdraw, I felt him pumping me, grinding against me. He held me by my wrists above my head. He was fucking me, and I couldn't help but notice my legs wrapping themselves around him, my body, giving in, inviting him.

"Ah, oh, oh god, ah!" I screamed. But something inside me just suddenly...broke... and all of that initial pain just fell away, drowned out by this strange and scary new feeling that I could just drown in. I was feeling this unfamiliar wave of pleasure building and swelling inside me. I was feeling used and loved and fucked and desired and anxious. I was being brought to life for the first time. It was like I could see myself, as if I was outside of myself, but I felt everything.

"...yes, yes!" It almost felt like with every moan my body was confessing something, something about what I've always secretly, shamefully denied but wanted to come out of me, out of my voice, my body, my soul. His body started to tremble, and I felt his cock burying itself deep inside me. With every spasm I knew he was coming inside of his condom, inside of me, and that I had made him do that. I tried tightening myself around him with each of his final thrusts, wanting to take from him every last drop, wanting to savor him, though I knew it was over, and I knew I hadn't completely finished. But the night was still young, and he had just made me a woman, unbeknownst to him. And there was still so much more of my body I wanted him to have, there was still so much more of my new lover I needed to satisfy for myself, so much more that I craved.