- Non-Erotic Poetry
- A Mother's Years
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Flaxen haired son as he kneels on the bed
giggles and laughs no sleepy eyed child,
questions of innocence why is blood red?
One moment crazed the next I'm beguiled.
Giggles and laughs no sleepy eyed child
Dimpled cheeks, mischievously belied
one moment crazed the next I'm beguiled.
blue-eyed son's smile never denied.
Dimpled cheeks, mischievously belied
charmer possessing scabbed over knees
blue-eyed son's smile never denied
always a scamp but pride guarantees
Charmer possessing scabbed over knees
questions of innocence why is blood red?
always a scamp but pride guarantees
flaxen haired son as he kneels on the bed.
Poetry Survivor Challenge
- COMMENTS
WickedEvealmost 15 years agoLine breaks can be used in place of punctuation and your line breaks work fairly well, but the poem could use another comma here and there. Still, it's a good piece.
Anonymousalmost 15 years agoAnnie, I like the poem overall, but I am confused by some of the phrases like "Flaxen haired son as he kneels on the bed giggles and laughs no sleepy eyed child" and the phrase with "pride guarantees flaxen haired..."
Am I just really confused? Maybe it needs some commas to improve comprehension? You're missing a few hyphens, but that's an easy fix.
