Sexting Ch. 01

Part 01: An Introduction

Having sex via text message (also called sexting or textual intercourse) is a new craze that's sweeping the country. It's not as personal as phone sex, but for people like me - not brave enough to say these things out loud - it's perfect. When I decided to get into sexting I search all over the web for inspiration, what should I say? Unfortunately the most common thing to stumble across when typing 'sexting' or 'dirty texts' or even 'texts to send my boyfriend' into google are dirty jokes. And I highly doubt sending him "Jack & Jill both popped a pill and needed a drink of water, they danced till dawn, fucked like porn, like all good ravers orta" is something that's going to achieve anything close to what I wanted. Which is to make him feel wanted, and of course, horny. So I decided to write this for anyone else wondering how to start and what to send.

First, let me tell you how I got into this:

I've been in seeing someone for a few months now, however due to schedules and circumstances it's very rare for us to be together alone. Despite this I still desperately wanted him to know that I am thinking of him, and just as - if not more - importantly, that I want him and want to be with him. I knew that the best option was phone sex, the problem is that I'm just not brave enough to put myself out there like that, and I had no idea if he would reciprocate. How embarrassing would that have been? To start talking all hot and heavy and have him say "Umm, that's nice honey, but I have to go." Finally I settled on a medium that I could work with. Sexting. It works perfectly for me, I can set the tone, hardcore, softcore, or just a little something to let him know he is in my thoughts, and I can set the rules. I can tell him whether I want him to reply or not. Before I sent my first 'sext' I told him that I was going to send him a message or two that night that he wasn't allowed to reply to. Of course at the time he had no idea what I was talking about and was completely confused and very curious, but he excepted my terms. So I waited for about an hour after he left, enough time for him to get home and wonder when this text was coming, and then I started sexting.

I wish you were still here

(wait 5 minutes)

I'd be kissing you lightly and softly

(wait 2 minutes)

Then I'd start lightly nibbling on your lips

(wait wait 2 minutes)

Then I'd move to licking and kissing your neck

(wait 2 minutes)

Slowly nibbling, kissing and licking your pecks and your hot body

(wait 2 minutes)

I'd move lower and lower

(wait 10 minutes)

I want to suck you and lick you

(wait wait 2 minutes)

I'd move my tongue all over you

(wait 2 minutes)

I want to feel you in my mouth

(wait 5 minutes)

*sigh* But you're not here :(

So all in all I sent ten messages, starting out casual and romantic and slowly progressing to more the erotic. But not dirty. Notice that the only words I used that were even remotely dirty were 'lick' and 'suck'. Which considering the alternatives such as; 'cock', 'pussy', 'blowjob', 'fuck' and so on, it is very mild. There are two reasons for this, it was the first one I'd sent so I had no idea how he'd react, and secondly, often the most erotic things can be anticipation and imagination.

The second thing to note is that I didn't just send this in one message, I drew out the process, it would have been hot, sure, if I had sent it all together in one message, but it would have been over as soon as he had finished reading it, so about three minutes. However, this way it lasted a half hour, which for you romantics out there, meant that he was thinking of me non-stop of half an hour.

Of course another option is to send one to get him hard straight away. This is one that I sent a few days ago first thing in the morning:

I wish I could wake you up by sucking your cock...

Obviously it has a completely different tone than the previous sexts I described. The reason, this was the only one I was planning on sending. It was 6.30am, the same time he sets his alarm, and while I wanted to send him something hot to start the morning with, I knew that neither of us had the time for an extended sexting session. So make sure that you pick your timing.

Now, some simple dos and don'ts.

Do make it all about him. The point of this is to make him feel good, so don't go on about how you want him to go down on you, unless this is something he gets off on.

Don't take it personally if he doesn't reply. He could be busy, out of credit, in a public place or have no idea what to say. Personally I prefer it when he doesn't reply. It mean I have complete control, and I know exactly what he's doing when he's not replying.

Do make it personal. Use words like 'I' and 'you'. If you can reference past sex, so much the better. For example, "I was thinking of how wet you made me last night. Tonight I'm going to repay you... again, and again, and again."

Don't apologize for using words you wouldn't normally. For example, I've never said cock to my guy, I'm building up to that, but we both know there's a difference between what is said in a text and what is said in person, just like there's a difference between what you say to each other in public and in the bedroom. If you're worried about what he's going to think of you, ask yourself why you're doing this in the first place.

Do practice. I'm not talking about sending him more texts (though that's always a great option). Perhaps the better word for it is research. Read stories, this site alone is pack with suggestions, or go into an adult chat room and talk start chatting. It's safe and anonymous and an easy way to ask guys what turns them on without having to put yourself out there.

Don't worry about how he's going to take it. To put it simply, guys love dirty talk. If he respects you less because you tell him how much you want to please him then his respect is precarious to begin with.

Do keep testing new things and see how he responds, who knows, you might just find something that turns him absolutely wild.

Do make sure you choose the right time. 4am is usually a bad time to send a sext, unless you know for a fact that he's awake and alert, but normally if you're sending something at that time, the reason is simply because you can't sleep. I promise he won't enjoy it as much if you wake him up 2 hours early just to tell him you're thinking of him. But that doesn't mean you have to keep sending a sext at the same time every day. I love mixing things up, my guy never knows is he's going to get a text from me, which makes it all the more fun.

Don't send a sext when he's having a hard time in life, it obvious to most but I have heard of partners sending their lovers a series of incredibly hardcore texts the day after their mother had died or they'd lost their job. Sad but true.

Do be enthusiastic. It's much better to write "I want to suck you until you cum" than "If you want me to I'll give you a blowjob". Let him know that you want him.

Don't use text shortcuts. Sorry folks, but when it comes to sexts, it's not gr8, it's great. It's not 'u', it's 'you', it's not 2nite, it's tonight. This is something you shouldn't be sending on the run, or rushing like an afterthought. Put time and effort into it.

Do be descriptive. Go into detail, tell him exactly what you want to do him. Take your time, you don't need to rush this.

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Author's note: Thanks for reading. I'd love to hear back from you, especially with suggestions that I can use myself and put in my next article.