I Just Don't Know . . . Ch. 03

Have you ever noticed how much you can see in the dark once your eyes become accustomed to it? I made this discovery at 3:17 a.m. as I lay in my hotel bed, wide awake, reviewing what had just happened and reflecting on how my life had changed.

The blinking red light on the fire alarm on the ceiling; the thin, vertical slits of light that penetrated at the edges of the room-darkening curtains; the digital alarm clock numerals showing 3:17 in muted red – I could see all of them and their light enabled me to pick out shapes in the room as well. I looked to my left and there, in her bed, lay Caroline, blissfully unaware that I was losing my mind as she dreamed peaceful, calming dreams.

I started by thinking back on our night together. Our lovemaking had been unbelievable, stunning to me. The newness of being with a woman and taking in her scent and her softness had been undeniably wonderful. Such a contrast to what I had known with my husband and my only other lover, a guy who I thought I had loved at my college.

Sex with them was great. I loved the power of masculinity, the rawness as they approached their orgasms, but this, with Caroline, had been so different. It was patient and . . . what's the word . . . attentive. She had taken her time and seemed to seek out every experience that could heighten my pleasure. And after we had both reached our heights of passion, the pleasuring had continued. Gentle touching and exploring of our bodies, both in bed and in that glorious shower, as we took turns scrubbing each other clean. And then to bed – to our own beds we had decided – to catch up on the sleep that we both badly needed.

And I did sleep for awhile, but, now, I was wired. The contented reflections on our night gave way, inevitably, to remorse over the fact that I had indeed cheated on Richard and fear that I could be found out. Thoughts piled on top of thoughts as I realized that this woman (who I barely knew, after all) now knew me intimately and could harm me with this knowledge. Who knew if she was stable? What if she was some possessive nut who would intrude on my family life or if she might be a blabber who would think it funny to let everyone in on our secret liaison? The more I thought, the more irrational I became until I was ready to bolt from my bed and run from the room in my nightgown.

I took a deep breath and tried to steady myself. Easy, Em, I thought, let's not get crazy. I turned slightly and looked at Caroline. My eyes could just make out her shape and, as I watched, she sighed slightly and turned toward me. She was uncovered and her white nightgown was slightly unkempt, falling from her left shoulder to reveal the swell of her breasts. It was extremely erotic by itself but when her hand involuntarily moved to her hip and hiked the garment up a bit, exposing the full length of her leg, it moved to another level and I was lost. All the fears melted away and I knew, absolutely knew, that Caroline was in my system and she wasn't going away.

I stared at her for minutes hoping that she would continue to explore herself in her sleep but the beauty of the moment must have served as a sedative because the next thing I remember was the shrill sound of the alarm clock signaling the beginning of another day. Apparently, Caroline had the strength of will to turn it off because I failed to stir until a gentle pushing on my shoulder brought me around.

"Emily. Emily. It's time to get up." Caroline's voice was like liquid honey and eventually did the trick. She gradually came into focus above me and I was shocked to see her fully dressed.

"What time is it?" I asked from what seemed to be a cotton-filled mouth.

"It's almost 8:00. I let you sleep while I made use of the shower and bathroom. It's all yours now and breakfast should be arriving in the next 15 minutes or so, so look alive, sailor."

I forced myself to rise and thought of how awful I must look in comparison to this beautifully put together woman standing beside me. "Don't look at me," I pleaded.

Caroline smiled and responded, "You look adorable. It's all I can do not to attack you." She patted my bottom as I passed her on the way to the bathroom and I rather wished that she had undertaken that attack.

We had our breakfast and chatted about the day ahead. The morning session went from 10:00 until noon, followed by lunch and an afternoon meeting with closing speeches that ran until 4:00. Caroline instructed me not to make any dinner plans, saying, "I have something special planned just for the two of us. We'll have time to have a snack after the conference and then we're off."

"No hints?" I asked. "How should I dress?"

She hesitated and answered, "Smartly. We're going someplace really nice."

I stood up and walked over to her. "Can I kiss a clue out of you?" I bent and placed my lips on hers. Kissing her was the most delightful experience. She had the softest, fullest lips and I made sure to inhale to take in her fresh, subtle scent.

"Nice try," she said when she broke away from my advance. "But you'll have to wait. Now let's get on our way."

* * *

Caroline and I went our separate ways in the morning session. I spent some time in a small seminar, meeting up with one of the women with whom we had dined the previous night. At one point, during a break, she took me aside and, with little preamble, looked me in the eye and said, "Emily, you need to be careful."

I had no idea what she meant. "Excuse me?" I said in a confused voice.

She sighed. "Look, it's none of my business, but, if you and Caroline are involved in some way, you need to be more discreet than you were last night." If she was watching carefully, I'm sure she saw me sag noticeably. I could feel my knees buckle at the thought that I had been found out.

"What are you saying?" I asked, knowing full well.

"At dinner, you two were exchanging looks that were unmistakable. You could have lit a theater marquee with the electricity you were generating. Now, again, you don't need to worry about me. As a matter of fact, I thought it was sweet, but others might not share my . . . acceptance. So, be careful, dearie." With that, she patted my arm and walked away before I could even mutter a denial.

Wow. After my insomnia trauma last night, I needed this like a hole in the head. I did my best to hold onto my composure as I returned to the seminar and lasted until the buffet luncheon where I related the exchange to Caroline. She took it in far better spirit than I had.

"Why, that jealous hag!" she laughed. "She just wishes you were giving her those gaga eyes of yours."

"Well, apparently, the gaga-ing was mutual," I answered. "It wasn't just me and we really need to be more discreet."

"Okay, Emily. I promise to ignore you mightily . . . until I get you alone. Then, you'd better watch out. Now, eat your greens." She serenely returned to her meal and I decided to relax and do the same.

* * *

The afternoon session passed quickly and we returned to our hotel room where, at Caroline's suggestion, we both got undressed down to our undies and took a nap wrapped in each other's arms. It was heavenly. There was a peck or two and some gentle stroking of cheeks and arms, but we actually did fall asleep. It was undeniable to me that I truly cared for this woman. I felt as ease with her and thanked the fates that had conspired to bring us together.

We had a light snack of sandwiches and tea thanks to our good friends at room service and then got ready for what I now referred to as our mystery date. I put on a charcoal-colored suit over an ivory blouse that plunged to show just a hint of décolletage. A strand of pearls completed the look and I was happy with the effect.

I couldn't help watching as Caroline got dressed. All these years of women's dressing rooms at clothing stores, locker rooms at the gym, and I had never so much as snuck a glance at another woman. Suddenly, there was a woman whose body mesmerized me and here she was, mere feet away, apparently unaware that her reverse striptease was driving me crazy. She was utterly at ease in her state of undress and I drank her in. Her glorious breasts, round and firm with large areolas surrounding nipples that were begging to be sucked on. Her bottom, large but without a bit of sag, and her long, tanned legs that led to a delta-shaped pussy that I had licked at less than 24 hours earlier. As I stared, I felt a moist tingly signal beginning to form in my own private region. I fought the urge to attack her right then and there and instead just watched as she donned her elegant bra and panties. Finally, she slipped into a rich burgundy dress which was a perfect match to her dark beauty. We exchanged compliments and were off at 7:30, bound for who knows where.

A taxi took us a short distance and I immediately knew where we were. How could one not recognize the vast courtyard and fountain at Lincoln Center? We got out and I grinned as I asked, "The opera?" Caroline shook her head from side to side.

"It's ballet night, Emily. We're here to see Giselle."

Now, all girls go through a stage in their adolescence when they are totally smitten with either ballet or horses. Me, I was a horse girl who begged first for riding lessons and then a horse of my own. My parents held firm and I outgrew the phase. My experience with ballet was quite limited so I found myself excited at the opportunity to see a great company in a wonderful hall.

Our seats were center orchestra about 10 rows from the stage so I got to drink in the beauty of the performance from close range. It was just wonderful. The first act was full of happy peasant dances but ended with the heroine's collapse and death. After intermission (during which we sipped champagne at a bar in the lobby), the mood got even darker as the dead Giselle joined a group called the Wilis in ceremonial dances of death. She ended up saving her hero, Albrecht, from the Wilis' clutches and did a duet with him that overwhelmed me. The dreamlike music, the darkened set, and especially the amazing lifts that the couple performed were stunning. I had tears rolling down my cheeks when I felt Caroline's hand on top of mine and looked to see that she, too, was profoundly affected by the mood. I left the theater a newly-christened balletophile.

The streets on the Upper West Side where alive when we left Lincoln Center so we decided to walk the relatively short distance to our hotel. Arm in arm, we strode on and I expressed how grateful I was to have been exposed to such a glorious work of art.

"I knew you'd love it," Caroline said. "You have the soul to appreciate it." Right there, on West 58^th Street, she stopped, took me by the shoulders and kissed me. The stream of pedestrians meant nothing to either of us as we shared the most romantic of caresses. I'll never forget that moment.

We thought of stopping for a drink but instead decided to go right back to our hotel room. Inside, we headed for the window and looked out on the electric splendor of the city. We stood there, silently, for minutes on end willing the moment to last.

"It's been quite a couple of days," I said.

"It's not over," Caroline replied. "Tonight, you're still all mine." She kissed me and said, "Let's use that shower one more time."

We undressed each other and I noticed that Caroline's hands were trembling much as mine were. We simultaneously unclasped each other's bra and stood there, wearing only panties and took turns kneading, kissing and sucking the other's breasts. The room was lit only by a dim night light and the sight of Caroline in front of me was intoxicating. Soon our panties were gone and we walked to the waiting shower.

* * *

We set the shower to a gentle pulsing and found the perfect temperature setting. And then we kissed, the water pouring over us as we got bolder and bolder with our tongues. I loved the feeling of Caroline's round, womanly body against mine and gasped as her hands suddenly found my ass cheeks and pulled me into her. I began to kiss her neck and felt the passion level elevate as Caroline moaned in response. My knees flexed and I dropped to the floor of the shower as I kissed my way down her body. Now it was my hands kneading her bottom as I followed the rivulets of water down to her wet, welcoming pussy. My tongue found its mark and Caroline ran her hands over my hair as she beckoned me to continue. I wanted nothing else.

Instinctually, I felt myself turn and sit on the shower floor with Caroline's pussy right above my face. She spread her legs wide for me and I used long, slow licks on her wet, wet lips. I found her clit with my tongue and I found my clit with my left hand. This was a watery paradise and I can only imagine the pornographic picture we must have made as our bodies writhed with the rhythm of the moment. Caroline's moans deepened and I could actually sense a difference in the liquid flow as she came on my mouth. Her knees quivered and for a moment I thought she was going to hit the floor but she steadied herself and was soon pulling me upward and gasping, "Come . . . come with me . . . the bed."

We hurriedly patted ourselves semi-dry and raced to the bed. Our embrace was almost primitive; we were so consumed by raw lust. We kissed and grabbed and then Caroline suddenly released me and spun into what even I knew was the 69 position. She was above me on her knees and I felt her hot breath on my cunt as I attacked hers in kind. Oh, God . . . this was incredible. The experience of giving and getting, simultaneously, in this mirror-image position was just too much. In no time, I was cumming, moaning into her pussy lips as jolt after jolt ran through me. I fell back and gasped for breath with the satisfying sound of Caroline orgasming yet again from the other end of the bed. You could just about hear our heartbeats as we slowly came down from this incredible high.

Caroline turned and joined me on the pillow. She looked me deep in the eye and said, "How many years did we waste before we discovered this?"

"Too many," I responded. "Way too many." And there we lay, just taking the time to lie in each other's arms and savor the moment.

* * *

We slept together in my bed, naked. I woke up once and stroked her velvet smooth skin causing her to purr lightly. No apprehension this time. I was at ease next to her.

In the morning, we had time to go to the hotel restaurant for breakfast before our flight (the same plane for both of us this time). We chatted about the conference and then the ballet.

"So, tell me, Emily," Caroline began. "And be honest. When you were watching the duets last night, whose body were you focusing on, Giselle's or Albrecht's?"

She smiled wickedly as she tried to corner me on my new-found interest in the female form.

"Hmmm," I said as I pondered the question. "Well, it was very hard to resist that bulging codpiece he had. I found myself wondering if it was all him! But, really, I did appreciate both of them. She was so slim and elegant. And, truth be told, I actually thought at one point what a tremendous lover she must be, so lithe and flexible." I giggled and so did Caroline.

Then Caroline turned serious. "Look. I want you to know . . . you have nothing to worry about. With us, I mean. This thing we've discovered . . . I'm never going to be a threat to your life and your happiness. I love my husband and I know you love yours and we're not going to do anything stupid that might jeopardize that." I smiled and nodded. "Just know that I'm so glad to have formed this friendship with you and I hope we'll continue and I know we'll be careful, okay?"

Her rambling, hesitant speech was obviously heartfelt and much appreciated. "I know, Caroline. And I trust you. And . . . I love you in a friend-love way, you know? This . . . this sexual thing we've discovered, it's just opened my eyes to something new and glorious and I don't want it to end, so I'm not worried. I don't know yet how it'll be with Richard, but, at this point, I have no plans to enlighten him on what we've been doing."

"Oh, goodness, no!" Caroline nearly shouted. "This is something that needs to be concealed. We're friends, that's all anyone needs to know. And friends sometimes go places together and spend time on their decks getting sun . . ."

"As I recall," I said coyly, "that deck of yours was the root of all evil. Who knew that an innocent woman delivering constitutions would be treated in such a way?"

"Treated. Yup, I'm pretty sure it was a treat for you." Caroline smiled and added, "If we hurry, there may be time for a treat before we head to LaGuardia."

* * *

We hurried back upstairs and grabbed each other having barely cleared the door to our room. We kissed deeply and I soon had Caroline pinned to the wall, my hands rubbing her everywhere I could think of. My right hand hiked her skirt to her waist and reached around to the top of her pantyhose. Still kissing, urgent moans coming from both our throats, I worked my fingers under the waistband and moved down to her ass cheeks. And then around the front and lower, to find her wet, welcoming pussy lips. My middle finger entered her and she half-sobbed as I pushed my way in, and up. I was surprised by my own aggressiveness as I slipped my finger in and out, fascinated by her wetness and warmth on my finger. We broke the kiss and were eye to eye. Caroline's breathing was ragged and her words urgent. "Oh, God, yes . . . yes . . . please, Emily. Don't stop."

I went to her neck with my mouth and was there when I heard her wail. She came, drenching my finger and nearly collapsing against the wall. And then she was pushing me backward to her bed. My legs hung over the side and she parted them with a violent passion. She reached up under my skirt and tore down my pantyhose and panties in one swift tug. Then she buried her mouth between my open legs and began to suck and lick and invade me with her own fingers. Two fingers plunging in and out and a mouth sucking on my clit as I lay back and vocalized sounds that I had never heard myself make before. It was quick. It was probably not more than a minute before I felt like I was soaring to the ceiling in the middle of another stupendous, shattering climax. This was sex, pure and raw, and I loved it.

* * *

Our flight home went smoothly. I thought of how fellow travelers must have regarded us: two stylish women returning from a conference, looking for all the world like the society women we were. How could they know otherwise?

But, I knew. I knew I had changed and would never be quite the same. Funny . . . my story title no longer fits because I do know and I'm fine with it.