Labour recruitment

I don't think I should hire you, son,
now that I know you're gay.
We only want good laborers here
who'll put in a worthwhile day.
Here we have no need for shirkers.
The plant's not a place for fun.
We're looking for fit and virile workers
who know how to get the job done.

I'm fitter than any one else you have.
In fact I work out every day.
You have no need to worry at all.
I'll give value for what you pay.
I have faith in technology and faith in work.
I'm willing to pull my weight.
I'm not the sort of person who'll shirk.
I'll do extra hours, work late.

So you say that you work out every day.
Do you carry your bag to the gym?
And work on your Marky Mark physique
to stay cute and honed and trim!
Do you spend a while in the tanning booth,
to make sure you maintain your tan?
This job entails back-breaking toil.
It calls for a proper man.

And I suppose you hang around funny places
where they show those films full of sleaze,
and you hook up with others to do lewd acts
and expose yourself to disease.
If I gave you the job you would call in sick
at least once or twice every week.
And that would be the reward I'd get
for hiring a fuckin' freak.

Sir, you're being a bit unfair.
I'm nothing like that at all.
In fact I live a very clean life.
I promise: I'll be on the ball.

Yeah, on whose ball are you gonna be?
Have you thought about that, you maggot?
Do you think the rest of my team will be pleased
to work alongside a faggot?
In any event I'm looking to find
someone who shows maturity.
You've got a fuckin' cheek to apply!
Now piss off! I'll call the security!