Hypothetical Twitter Hipster Haiku3

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What's that fucking noise?
Christ, it's barely magic hour,
5:20pm.

What are they doing,
Throwing a fucking Frisbee,
Tossing a football?

It's somebody's dad
And their stupid kids out there
Having their playtime.

Goddamn motherfuck.
I had to dive for the blinds:
Shield my privacy

That was a close one.
I was about to get dressed;
Can't stay nude all day.

I mean, here I am
Just chillin' with some Ke$ha,
Checkin' out my rug,

Waiting for the day
To get started for realzies,
Updating my blog,

Pondering options:
Smoke a joint, play with my tits:
The sky's the limit.

Just holding the fort,
And then: here comes the parade
Outside my window.

Keep your dogs and kids
Outta my field of sight, yo!
Get a room, losers!

It's just pathetic
What this neighborhood's come to.
Intolerable . . . .

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vrosej10vrosej10over 13 years ago
Not haiku but hilarious.

Apart from mirepresentation as haiku (its pseudohaiku), this is brilliant. I laughed so hard I nearly fell off my chair.