- Erotic Poetry
- Unreliable
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His phone gives no response; it's on vibrate,
Across the room from him; and he is sat,
Refusing to respond because it's late;
Why is he so prepared to start a spat?
He said that he would call: but it's gone ten;
I'm up much later than I sense is good:
I wish he were reliable, but then
I could not fuss or chide when I am stood
Up by the one who, it seems, does not know
How vital it is that I hear his voice;
Why can't he walk across and ring to show
He'd never let me down? It's not my choice
To be on tenterhooks; I have to wait:
I see it in my mind - still on vibrate.
- COMMENTS
greenmountaineerabout 13 years agoI really liked this. At first I was put off by the sudden line breaks in the first 6 lines, but it occurred to me that it was like the 6 rings the caller would hear on her end until she finally gave up. Then the pace picked up until the conclusion which reminded me the caller's frantic mind, imagining disinterest when in fact he may have stepped out for a while (or perhaps not); seeing herself as somewhat of a martyr suffering; and finally hanging up but staying by the phone.
LadyGenevieveover 13 years agoa descriptive journey through a sober event. Very nice.
GuiltyPleasureover 13 years ago.....like this. A mind's meanderings and misgivings. The rhythm is steady and the rhyming good. I particularly like the return to "vibrate" in the final line.
Tess
