Enough Reason for a Horse

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45 words
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vrosej10
vrosej10
32 Followers

she wears that contusion as a corsage
marching down the aisle, a battered bride
two days ago,she climbed on a newly foaled mare
and was thrown against the chicken coop.
this morning, smiling though, she told me
that bruise would be her 'something blue'.

vrosej10
vrosej10
32 Followers
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UnderYourSpellUnderYourSpellabout 13 years ago
~

you are so good at original ideas for poems well done

LiarLiarabout 13 years ago
Where'd my comment go?

Oh well, I didn't say much. Just that it was an attention-grabber of a title, and that the poen was very nice too.

AngelineAngelineabout 13 years ago
Excellent

You do this over and over: so much story in so few words. It's balanced and the images are vivid and active (which also gives the poem a lively pace so clear I can almost hear it). I'd put a comma after "corsage" to clarify that the bride is the one marching (though technically the bruise/corsage is with her, but you know what I mean lol). Wonderful stuff, Vee.

GuiltyPleasureGuiltyPleasureabout 13 years ago
sweet!

Nicely done! Chipbutty's idea is pretty good - "through" would add to the internal rhyme.

A sensitive and humourous poem.

Tess + 5

buttersbuttersabout 13 years ago
such a spirit of defiance

in that 'marching down the aisle' and wearing her bruise out in the open.

agree about the nice use of allit, but was 'though' meant to be 'through', sound-linking with 'bruise' and 'blue'?

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