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Click hereshe wears that contusion as a corsage
marching down the aisle, a battered bride
two days ago,she climbed on a newly foaled mare
and was thrown against the chicken coop.
this morning, smiling though, she told me
that bruise would be her 'something blue'.
Oh well, I didn't say much. Just that it was an attention-grabber of a title, and that the poen was very nice too.
You do this over and over: so much story in so few words. It's balanced and the images are vivid and active (which also gives the poem a lively pace so clear I can almost hear it). I'd put a comma after "corsage" to clarify that the bride is the one marching (though technically the bruise/corsage is with her, but you know what I mean lol). Wonderful stuff, Vee.
Nicely done! Chipbutty's idea is pretty good - "through" would add to the internal rhyme.
A sensitive and humourous poem.
Tess + 5
in that 'marching down the aisle' and wearing her bruise out in the open.
agree about the nice use of allit, but was 'though' meant to be 'through', sound-linking with 'bruise' and 'blue'?