- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Pink Sunset Lit World
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Click hereeyes on her hands, the pins, the dress dummy,
she hurries unaided; slaved all last night too
still stitching beads, lace; the wedding's tomorrow
people gossip on the street below, a baby cries;
she sighs, checks the darts, the seams, the hemline
a pause to push a dark tress behind her ear
and only on tea breaks, dreams herself a bride.
- COMMENTS
UnderYourSpellabout 13 years agoI can see her there a snapshot in time .... a comma after 'hemline' perhaps but that's a minor niggle
Angelineabout 13 years agoIt's complete with the images doing all the heavy lifting to carry the poem along. I'm not wild about semicolons in poems but I think it fits the semi-prosey style in which many of yours are written. Also as short as this one is, full stops could make for a choppy read. Anyway, just wonderful nothing more than that to say!
Esperanza_Hidalgoabout 13 years agoLet me try and remember--okay something like not even a bridesmaid, only a seamstress. I even like the new experimentation with the ten pattern, something I haven't read from you until recently.
Esperanza_Hidalgoabout 13 years agonot even a bridesmaid, just the creator of the dress--bitter ending. I like your experimentation with ten syllables on pattern--something I want to try.
