- Non-Erotic Poetry
- The Autistic Bride
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Click here'you don't even know what it is you want to own...'
some man in my dream
they stand beside the stairs
she's doll like, blank; his hands, feet too big, limbs too thin
facing each other; her eyes meticulously avoid his face
he takes her hands; she recoils, tries to pull free
'will you marry me?'
she grimaces, '...no random questions please!'
then ruptures the grip, turns her back on him
'this is not your home!'
- COMMENTS
buttersabout 13 years agothis works for me 100% as a flash fiction
as a poem, not so well.
you have absolutely captured and conveyed that glass wall that exists between h.f autistics and people considered 'normal' (whatever 'that' is) - you create tangents, cut-offs ...the unexpected..
Maria2394about 13 years agodisarranged, Not a bad poem, maybe a few more reads and it will dawn on me. I can't not read you :)
vrosej10about 13 years agoAuthorTo clarify this poem, it was based on a dream where I was the young man in question. The quote at the beginning was spoken by the girls father at what would be the end of the poem.
My son is autistic and I have spent a great deal of time with people with this disability. I was meticulous about making sure she displayed traits appropriate to someone with high functioning autism.
Point taken about it needing to be opened out a bit :).
Angelineabout 13 years agohaving worked with autistic young people, but it works as an image really well for the poem, too. It conveys their disjunctiveness and love the use of "ruptures" and that last great line.
I'd consider putting some space between natural breaking points because the densely packed language and puncutation kind of gets in the way of the reading--maybe stretch it all out some, you know? I think the dialogue needs to be broken out on separate lines at least. Just a thought but see what you think. :-)
GuiltyPleasureabout 13 years ago....ambivalent about this. I love the poem but the title throws me, she seems to not necessarily have autistic tendencies, I needed a bit more info.
Dreams make great poetic fodder and this does have a dream-like quality.
Tess + 4 (really liked it - good read)
