What’s the Difference: Is the Sex Act...

What's the Difference: Is the Sex Act "Making Love," or "Fucking?"

Introduction:

Everyone who reads the stories published in Literotica has seen the sex act, whether genital-genital, oral-genital, of anal, referred to both as "making love," and "fucking."

Is there a difference? Physically, both are identical. Both produce orgasms that are, in all probability, identical. But, is there a qualitative difference between the two activities? I maintain that there is and will attempt to delineate that difference below. Reader comments are welcome and encouraged.

The Sex Act:

In a heterosexual relationship, the sex act in its narrowest sense is the introduction of the man's penis into the woman's vagina followed by thrusting movements that culminate, hopefully, in orgasms for both. For the purpose of this discussion, I will expand the definition of the sex act to include oral (fellatio and/or cunnilingus) and anal intercourse.

In a homosexual relationship, whether between two men, or two women, penis in vagina is not available and is made up for, to some extent, through the manual stimulation of one another's genitalia.

Now that definitions are out of the way, let's move on to trying to tell the difference between "Making Love," and "Fucking."

Discussion:

In that I am a heterosexual widower of limited non-marital sexual experience, what I am about to say reflects only my own subjective ideas about the subject in question. Nevertheless, my ideas are modified by voracious reading of things written by others and an extensive, though not formal, study of psychology and sexology.

Fucking:

Anyone can fuck. As long as there is no physical, or deep psychological, impediment to carrying out the sex act as described above, there is nothing to prevent any couple from stimulating one another's genitalia to orgasm.

It helps if the two are attracted to one another because of physical attractiveness, a complementary personality, or a need (desire) for sexual release, or perhaps, in the case of prostitution, a financial incentive. Beyond that, nothing prevents any man, or woman, from fucking.

At this point, I expect I'll stir a bit of controversy.

Fucking is merely using another person's body as a substitute for one's own hands, or a sex toy of some kind, to produce an orgasm -- to provide a means of sexual release. It is, in a sense, a form of masturbation. Once the desired orgasm has been achieved, there need be no further interaction between the participants. This is certainly true of the "one night stand."

Fucking may be thought of as a form of masturbation but, as anyone who has done both will tell you, there is a qualitative difference between the two. One's own hand(s) or a toy will produce an orgasm. However, for the man -- the warm, moist, close fit of the ruga (folds or wrinkles in a woman's vagina), or the feel of her cervix sliding back and forth across the slope of his glans with each in-out thrust is entirely different from the feeling of his hand or a silicone rubber vaginal substitute. Similarly, the feel of a mouth, or the fragrance and taste of a woman's vulva is far more satisfying that stroking his own penis until he ejaculates, even if the sensation of ejaculation is the same in both scenarios.

And, though I can't be sure, I suspect that a woman's response to the sex act with a man is far different and somehow more satisfying than bringing herself to orgasm with her fingers, a dildo, of a vibrator.

There is something that makes close physical contact with another's nude body exquisitely pleasant; even when it is under circumstances that engender no further commitment once the coital act is completed. There is something to be said for fucking.

I presume the same can be said of homosexual fucking.

Making Love:

By contrast, "Making Love" involves more than the raw physical act. As in "Fucking" the physical act is often the hub around which the wheel turns, but it need not be. "Making Love" can, and often does, occur without the mutual stimulation of one another's genital organs, or the achievement of orgasm.

Virtually any couple who truly share a love relationship can tell you that "Making Love" can be nothing more than snuggling close and sharing a quiet moment of peace and comfort, knowing that they share an intimacy that cannot be adequately described in words. At such times, they may be nude and enjoy the feel of the other's body pressed close, or they may be fully clothed. They are bonded together by something much stronger than the pleasure of having their genitals stimulated, or the undeniable pleasure of a sexual climax.

The people involved may, or may not, be married to one another, or in a legally sanctioned relationship. They are, however, together because of something stronger, more permanent, than the desire or need to copulate.

Can such a couple fuck? Oh, YES! There are times when they get together solely for the purpose of having the wildest, most stimulating, lewd sex one can imagine, or participate in. If they are married, they may have an open marriage and be active swingers. When they are in that mode; they fuck. The excitement of the event is all they need. Yet, they can and do share something more meaningful and "Make Love."

Conclusion:

Fucking and making love are both a real part of the human life experience. Both have their unique place. Yet, even though they may involve the same physical activity and produce the same physiological response (orgasm), they are psychologically and emotionally different.

The explosive culmination of a good fuck is an end sought entirely for itself. The participants can go their separate ways without ever looking back. They may, or may not, feel fulfilled in any way other than having had an enjoyable physical engagement with a person who at least temporarily provided some excitement and pleasure.

Making love does not end with the orgasms enjoyed at the end of the physical act. It continues, quietly, in a satisfying, soul fulfilling way for an indeterminate length of time.

If they snuggle after the act, they may drift off into blissful sleep, each feeling an inner glow of happiness and fulfillment. If circumstances dictate that they part after their mating, they go their separate ways with a feeling that they have both given and received something that enriches them; they have become and are "one person." Even when distance and time separate them; they are one. Those who make love enjoy the moment for what it is, just as those who fuck enjoy the moment, but those who make love enjoy it and the sense of wellbeing it generates for as long as they live, even when either one of both of the participants fail to achieve an orgasm.

Fucking is a pleasurable activity of the moment. Making love is a commitment of oneself to another, as well as an act of physical pleasure.