Lustful Amnesia Ch. 04

I didn't care about the stars.

Not really.

Neither did Cordelia.

In fact she couldn't name a single constellation, but it didn't matter.

As we wandered a fair distance from the house, we sat in the grass and wrestled a little. It was the first time she had ever played with me so directly.

In the pond—and how my mind travels back to that magic moment—at first, neither of us had even touched.

She had caressed my hand just slightly, but that could have been an accident... no. We were playing, wrestling a little, and we did so until we had flattened out a decent amount of tall grasses. Side by side, about an arm's length apart, Cordelia did something to me that would touch me deeper than that moment I shared with her in the pond.

Cordelia held my hand.

O O O

"Do you think the stars will be up there forever?" Cordelia asked Amnesia, seeming particularly introspective tonight. She scooted closer to Amnesia's side, still holding her hand, still laying side by side.

"I do not know that answer." Amnesia replied, her voice a lazy echo in her cloudy head. Had she said it in binary, it would have mattered no more than if she had said it in German, or French, or Gaelic.

The conversation did not even matter.

Mary Celeste turned on her side, releasing Amnesia's hand. For a moment, Amnesia felt a pang of isolation before Cordelia's hand came to rest gently on Amnesia's stomach. She glided it up gently to Amnesia's ribs and held it here, rubbing her fingers over the taught muscles beneath her friend's cotton shirt. "I don't know a lot about the stars, but I think they are pretty."

"They are not that pretty." Amnesia said, feeling Cordelia caressing along her ribs gently. The sensation sent strange electrical shocks into Amnesia's belly, and deeper, and farther down. She took a deep breath in and released it. It was all she could do to keep from shaking. "I can imagine prettier things."

"Really?" Cordelia was unreadable, turning more on her side. She rested on her elbow, while she traced Amnesia with her free hand, running the tip of her finger from Amnesia's forehead down to her belly button, and then to the hem of her denim jeans.

Amnesia gulped, but as she tried to speak nothing came out. She felt her knees jerk a little, but made no effort to stop Cordelia.

"I trust you, Amnesia." Cordelia finally said to her, after moments of considering the situation. "I know I don't talk much, but I have lots to think about. I have lots to say."

"It's okay."

"No, its really not." She said with hard, but glassy eyes. "One of these days I am going to have to do something to you that was done to me. I need to do it, so that I know it can be something that is done right."

"Why?" Amnesia asked softly, wishing something would happen, but she wasn't sure what. "Did someone else do it wrong?"

Cordelia offered her a somber smile. "You can't even imagine." She said pulling her hand off of Amnesia's body.

"No, don't do that." She said.

"I stopped."

"I mean don't stop that." Amnesia whispered.

"It's not like painting outside of the lines, or being clumsy and tripping, or falling." Cordelia continued to trace Amnesia's body.

"What is it like?"

"It hurt a little at first." Mary Celeste said with vacant eyes. "...and if it isn't done right, you just end up hating the person who did it."

"I couldn't hate you."

"...and once it is done, it cannot be undone. You can never, ever take it back."

"Like a tattoo?" Amnesia asked. "We have parlors in London."

"Don't be so dense, Amnesia." Cordelia said, but she was smiling a little. "I have so much I want to tell you, and I'm so scared to do it, because once I do tell you, I know what I am going to do."

"...but we're friends right?"

"Yes." Cordelia said with a nod.

"...and you trust me?"

"Yes, but once it is all said, I have to do to you what was done to me - it is the only way I know."

"I trust you." Amnesia said.

"You shouldn't." Cordelia said darkly, as her fingers stopped at Amnesia's pants again. She thumbed the button of the denim jeans repeatedly, lazily, until it popped open. "What I am going to do will change you forever."

"So what?" Amnesia said defiantly. She didn't like how the evening was turning out at all. "Maybe I need to change."

"You don't need scars." Mary Celeste said, wedging a finger beneath the second button of Amnesia's pants. The button came undone easily.

The second button always came undone easily.

"Whatever you do to me, I promise not to be mad." Amnesia said.

Mary Celeste stared past Amnesia. "I want to tell you..."

"Girls!?" A voice echoed over the tall grasses. "Girls!? Where are you?"

"Coming!" Amnesia yelled, rolling her eyes, but trying not to sound too annoyed with her mother. Cordelia looked at her strangely. Amnesia buttoned her pants, and took Cordelia's hand. "Let's go."